The Connection Bridgewater-Somerville Edition Feb/Mar 2019

Shimon and Sara Birnbaum Jewish Community Center 775 Talamini Road, Bridgewater, NJ 08807 Call today to schedule a tour! 908-443-9026 asteinberg@ssbjcc.org Contact Alanna: 908.443.9026 • asteinberg@ssbjcc.org SAVE $150 O er applie to NEW Camp Registrations. Expires 3/31/19 • Some restrictions apply. home for the summer OPEN HOUSE Tuesday, March 19 5:30-7:30 PM jcc camp ruach.org Swim Instruction • Adventure Course, Archery, Sports Art, Cooking, Music • Teen Travel Transportation Provided Multiple locations throughout New Jersey! Save $25 using promo code: INNOVATE25RPRINT at invent.org/camp For Grades k-6 All-new programming led by local educators In partnership with the USPTO a High-energy, hands-on stem camp Kidz Connection PAGE 12 I want to share with my readers two signifi- cant scenarios. The first involves a ten year old adolescent coming home from school, crying inconsolably and is distraught because his best friend abandoned him and joined a group who is taunting him. The sec- ond concerns a fourteen year old teenager who attempted to commit suicide because of internet lies in which thoughtless class- mates defamed her. These two happenings are experienced very often. In both situations, the parents should have given their offspring the strength and knowledge of how to handle these and other threatening situations before the actu- al event occurred. A parent is a mentor, a guide, a confidant and a friend and should equip children with important life's skills that will protect them from harm's way. The parent should encour- age children to be proud of who they are, recognize their child's feelings of insecurity and more importantly, should try to strengthen their children's weaknesses and encourage them to improve whatever attributes are needed to be altered for their well-being. A child must be equipped with the knowl- edge of what potential calamities might lay ahead and understand how to handle most potential situations. When is the best time in a child's life to discuss these issues? Skills are taught from the moment the child is born. However, the critical time to teach management skills to avoid possible future major calamities in life is between the ages of six and eleven. Parents should encourage all siblings to attend a MONTHLY FAMILY MEETING, which should be scheduled at a convenient time. Any topic can be raised and all family mem- bers are encouraged to give their opinions at the meeting. The discussions need not come in any particular order. Some topics will be brought up because of a recent event or an experience of one of the family members. The remainder of the meeting should be devoted to discussing potential situations that children might encounter in the future. The parents should direct but not dominate the conversations so that the best conclu- sions are arrived by consensus. Having important dialogues between chil- dren and parents should be a common event in all homes, especially when the child is young and, hopefully, before the devas- tating event happens. The discussions should be very light in tone and in good humor and yet be informative and instruc- tive to the child. The parent must allow chil- dren to express their opinions openly and not be fearful or ashamed of describing events that they might have encountered. All family members must exercise confiden- tiality and, hopefully, the siblings will devel- op a strong, loving and trustful bond between themselves. Let’s examine the two scenarios presented earlier. In both situations, the children were emotionally traumatized, having been accosted by fellow classmates, and not hav- ing the knowledge of how to respond, both emotionally and physically. On the other hand, let’s assume that the children were exposed in a FAMILY MEETING prior to the potential situations mentioned above and understood what steps should be taken. In both examples, the children would know what to do and say. Very importantly, children should never feel ashamed to dis- cuss what happened to them with their par- ents. Topics apropos to the Family Meeting need not follow any particular order. Parents and educators are encouraged to obtain a free e-book copy, PREPARING CHILDREN FOR THE FUTURE by submitting a request on the email site, AskDrMel@ yahoo.com. A hard copy can be obtained on Amazon.com. This manual will guide the parents in instructing important life man- agement skills. A suggested curriculum can be found in the book. “Dr. Mel” is a Pediatrician who has always champi- oned the needs of children and represents a non- profit corporation, Rewarding Life, Inc., whose mis- sion is to instruct children how to avoid harm’s way. He is a graduate of Cornell–Weill Medical School and completed his professional training as Pediatric Chief Resident at the New York Presbyterian Hospi- tal. He is the author of medical and lay articles, the latter under the by-line, “ASK DR. MEL”. Rewarding Life Inc.,a non-profit 501(c)(3)) corporation supllies free teaching materials to schools, drug rehabilita- tion centers, correctional facilities and other non- profit organizations. Comments and queries should be addressed to AskDrMel@yahoo.com. THE FAMILY MEETING By: Melvin S. Rosh, MD, FAAP (Dr. Mel) www.theconnectionsnj.com