The Connection Bernards-Ridge Edition April/May 2018

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As I am writing this, we all have closure, since Jack’s death is now clearly part of the pop culture, and we can all mourn the loss of the most amazingly brave, handsome, devilishly smiling, virile, devoted, driven, roman- tic, charismatic and generous dad and husband to grace the small screen, perhaps, ever! He is at once every man, yet no man, and he never wanted to be anything more than Rebecca’s husband and father to their children. Jack was a man with creative eyes and love for all in his sphere, who painted a picture we can imagine ourselves able to do, if we were near perfect, like him. Jack was blessed with vision, and from where he came, that is an extraordinary quali- ty. He saw good, although he was raised by bad. His belief that he could adopt a new- born of a different race and envelop that child with so much of his heart, and along with Rebecca’s undying devotion, provide the child a life of joy and confidence, because that was his desire, his will. Raising Randall as one of the “triplets,” alongside twins Kate and Kevin, was an incredible endeavor, especially in the 1980’s, when races were hesitant to engage together. When his own addiction got the better of him, he prayed, attended meetings, built bookcases, loved even more, as he fought his demons. Wanting to make his living on his own terms, he dreamt of THE BIG THREE construction company, and we have no doubt that with Rebecca at his side, he would have been the success we all needed and rooted for him to be. He saw his daughter, Kate, as the beautiful child he could protect from those who didn’t see her through his lens. Her talent, her sweetness, her smile and her creative spirit seemed to have jumped from his mind to hers, so much did he will it for her. Their connection was encompassing, even when he refused to acknowledge that others cast their judgmental eyes on her at the pool. With Rebecca making him aware of the pain of rejection at the hand of her “friends,” he offered his shirt as a cover, empowering it with magical properties. We are all aware that a suit of armor couldn’t protect Kate from the harshness of pre-teens, but we were carried away with the dream that this Dad’s love actually could slay those dragons! Jack never missed one of Kevin’s football games, and he would have been there whether or not he was the star of the team. The Pearson family loved football, and Kevin was gifted with talent, determination, great looks and the beautiful girlfriend. He had the potential to be a winner in Jack’s mind, but we all felt Jack’s anger, disap- pointment and absolute shock at how his son could be rude, cocky and challenging to the football scout from Penn State. Those qualities were so foreign to a father who imbued his son with his own kindness. Jack insisted Kevin write a note of apology for his arrogance to the coach, but Kevin didn’t learn the lesson of humility, even when he blew out his knee, therefore ending his football career. It has been my feeling that interacting with Kevin was always Jack’s most discomfiting role. His equilibrium always seemed off, and he had to work so much harder to feel comfortable with the one of the three children who should have been most like him…the son of his own blood. When Jack met Rebecca, his life gained focus, clarity, beauty and richness. They had so much before she became pregnant with triplets. They were every young couple, just trying to figure it all out. They were determined to do good, be good, call their own plays, and live as productive a life as possible. Following the death of one of the triplets, Jack seized the opportunity to bring joy back to his bereft love with the addi- tion of Randall, who was left at a firehouse by his father who could no longer care for him after his mother’s death. Who would have the vision to do that? Who would want to broaden their existence with a third child, who came with as many differences as similarities? Who would calmly tell Rebecca that this is their destiny? Only Jack Pearson, who died way too young. Jack never grew old, never saw his children become adults or even graduate high school, was robbed of life. He will remain forever young, forever frozen in time. He left an incredible void. I know this firsthand, because my own father died when I was of a similar age, and like Kate, Kevin and Randall, my two sisters and I wonder what our lives would have been had he stayed longer. www.theconnectionsnj.com