By: Ellyn Mantell
While you may be wondering why I am referencing a phrase from the Broadway show, Dear Evan Hansen, I am wondering if any phrase could more exemplify the weekend we just shared with our beloved family? Watching the metamorphosis of our beautiful grand dolls into butterflies was a joy…watching them tap on the glass as they waved through the window of life…well, that is a privilege!
Like so many young ladies entering their teen years, our granddaughters made their Bat Mitzvahs, a rite of passage into Jewish womanhood. As the Cantor, who trained these girls stated, for that day they are actually Rabbis, leading and educating us on Judaism in the world, and in their world. Bruce and I came to watch, cheer, appreciate and acknowledge our pride as they reached this moment in their lives. We were not expecting quite the amazing experience we, and those we love, had, and I want to share it with you.
Our older daughter, Allison, and her husband, Dave, moved to Cherry Hill, New Jersey and have lived there for many years. Our younger daughter, Emily and her husband, Jeremy, moved to Cherry Hill some years later, and they live within a mile of each other. Aside from the closeness they have in proximity, their bond is strengthened by the knowledge they are all one family, and there for each other as necessary or desired. Allison and Emily carried our darling granddaughters at the same time, and Madelyn Jane (Maddie) and Jessica Rose (Jessie) are 7 weeks apart. Two years ago they declared they would make their Bat Mitzvahs together, thus having a B’Not Mitzvah (two girls) or as we referred to it…the Cuz Mitzvah!
We know our girls and their girls very well, and are rarely surprised at their lives. My daughters “let me in” perhaps more than many, and I show my appreciation by acknowledging the gift that is. I am filled with amazement at the many demands on these full-time working moms of two children each, their responsibilities to their families and community, their ethics and graciousness, and their generosity to all in their sphere. I never tire of telling them how they amaze me, and if they are bored of hearing it, they are kind enough to not tell me. So although we never discussed it, I suppose we expected nothing less from their daughters, despite their health and reading challenges. Since it is customary to choose what is called a Mitzvah Project (a charitable contribution to society) Maddie and Jessie designed leggings the sales of which provided funds raised for each of their health/reading issues. Maddie has Tourette Syndrome and Jessie has dyslexia. Both have created lives that speak to their individual greatness. Maddie is grateful her TS is as under control as it is with medication and other supports, and Jessie is a rock star reader after years of rewiring her brain so she can read. They each have their own areas in which they excel…Maddie cheers on two teams (hard core…let me tell you!) Jessie is an actor and singer (and has appeared in many shows, etc.)
Maddie and Jessie are similar to many, many young ladies at this age. And yet they have something quite unique. They are sisters without sibling rivalry! They are loved and adored by their own parents, as well as each others parents, and we cherish them equally. Jake and Max, their brothers keep them in line. And they have their puppies, of course.
They set the stage for their day by sharing not only their Judaism but their love for each other. I have never seen such devotion exemplified to another as these girls chanted and prayed together. Their love filled the rooms and the hearts of all in their presence. I watched the faces of my daughters as they watched the faces of theirs, and we were connected in a way few will ever be. I felt their hearts grow and burst with pride…mine did the same! I remembered the emotions I felt when Allison and Emily made their Bat Mitzvahs many years ago. How can so much time have passed?
And as Maddie and Jessie held hands and their voices soared, Bruce and I felt them tapping on the glass, waving through the window, knowing there will be our families on the other side looking back at them. They will always be surrounded by the love they have given us, and we have given back to them. We knew at that moment, they will be fine, they will all be fine…and what more do we need?