I am not a fan of labels. I prefer stepping out of the box. I don’t eat food with labels, define my relationships with them or stuff myself into a category of any kind. I am not this or that. I am many things. I am no-thing.
This is perhaps one small reason I choose to not categorize myself as a “woman of a certain age.”
I cringe when I hear the calling on or about those “woman of a certain age” in advertisements, blog posts and articles. I don’t like the way that label feels and I refuse to own it. It really got me thinking about what the heck “woman of a certain age” means?
Turning to my friend google for an answer, I came across a definition of “that certain … which it is not polite or necessary further to define.” The phrase was re-popularized in a 1979 book by the psychotherapist Lillian B. Rubin, “Women of a Certain Age: The Midlife Search for Self,” in which midlife spanned 35 to 54.
Not sure where that leaves us ladies over 54. But I am clear that I am not this or that woman of a certain anything. I am certain that I AM WHAT I AM. And WHAT I AM IS AMAZING.
No matter what the number on my birth certificate indicates. I much prefer to not associate with numbers, sizes or ages as a barrier to what is appropriate or expected at that number.
Can we as women choose to be amazing at every turn, juncture, step? Can we change our minds about aging? Embrace the changes. Enjoy the changes. Welcome the changes. Because they’re coming. No matter what you do. Botox Babes and Surgery Sisters beware – you are not stopping the inevitable.
Instead of trying so hard to change your body, change your mind. Do good things for yourself. Treat yourself well with food and doses of fun. Add in tidbits and taste of fabulous to all areas of your life. Age is a only a mindset. At a certain age you understand this. And when you do, you stay young because you do what you love and what you want to do without the restrictions that society places on you. You embrace your real awesome self as perfect for today. Please note that the only one that can restrict what you do or designate what you do as “age appropriate” is you – it’s all made up and it’s all up to you). Because I feel what I feel, I don’t feel OLD. To be clear. Is my body changing? YES. Is my mind changing? YES. My body is experiencing different and my mind is experiencing different.
A small share about my Dad who has no concept of how things “should” be. He continues his full time career in NYC, takes public transportation to get to his job, strength trains with weights on a consistent daily basis, keeps a daily food journal, engages in a boys nite ‘in’ (watching movies) with high school friends, creating and building an addition on his home and has 3 girlfriends. Oh and he’s 74, if you are keeping score.
SO… when I ask “Dad – What is your secret?”…he smiles and says, “I can’t hear you, that’s my deaf ear.” I just smile back because the truth is that he can’t hear me even in his good ear because he doesn’t understand the question. To him there is no secret, he’s just being how he feels.
He is being who he is with no attachment to any ideas, excuses or reasons that he can’t.
Why do I share my Dad’s attitude of aging with you? Because it’s much more fun in this life to not limit your experience as defined by societal expectation and popular belief. It’s much more fun to lose your attachment to the aging and anti-aging thing. Stop trying not to age. Stop defining yourself by what should happen at a certain number. Live your life as if you can do whatever you believe you can do.
I invite you to think about who you are and where you are? By what definition are you willing to define yourself? Can you remove the label you’ve placed upon yourself? Can you remove the limiting beliefs that you’ve set for yourself? Can you be willing to do what feels good to you? Can you stop using your age as a reason for not trying something new and exciting?
I offer you one simple daily ritual that, if you consistently practice, will bring you in the direction of self love no matter what your age or stage right now. Stand in front of a mirror. Stand tall and proud. Look straight into your eyes and repeat:
I AM ALL THAT I AM. ALL THAT I AM IS AMAZING. I AM PERFECT FOR TODAY.
(Repeat as often as necessary until you create a new pattern of behavior)
Rosie Battista is a Self Love Coach, helping clients remember their unique power and infinite possibility. If you are feeling stuck or just yucky in your life, call 908.872.8613, for a Discovery Session and see how you can move forward into a healthy happy state.