Debra Rimmer, LCSW, Clinical Therapist, Coordinator, Senior Friendly Visitor Program Jewish Family Service of Somerset, Hunterdon, and Warren Counties
The holiday season evokes a frothy mixture of feelings and emotions.
With the cooler air, early darkness, and falling leaves, some have memories and expectations for fun, food, celebration, and times with family/friends.
And the stress, oh-the-stress.
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Not surprising, the holidays aren’t for everyone. Many people don’t connect with the traditional holiday merriment and festivity; instead, they find the holidays (and the people in their lives) isolating, challenging and painful.
Others have experienced a significant loss and are grieving the loss during the holiday season without their loved one. They’re just “not feeling it” and want to hibernate – away from celebrating. In the Covid19 era, our losses are magnified – we remember how things were, yearning for ‘the way things will be.”
A New Opportunity?
Perhaps we can transport ourselves back to an earlier time when life was less complicated. We didn’t need to be plugged in to constant communication. Children could go outdoors, breathe fresh air and be with friends. Neighbors became family and tried not to leave anyone out.
Blend the old with the new. Incorporate the lessons from the past – give meaning to holiday time for an authentic and emotionally-rewarding experience.
Ideas for Holiday Enjoyment and Taking Control
If you’re celebrating this holiday season, how can you find meaning when many things feel beyond our control? Remember: the virus cannot steal your spirit or intention!
Plan in advance how you want to spend your time and with whom.
If you feel pain or other emotions. Allow yourself the time and space to feel your feelings. Don’t let anyone tell you how you “should feel”.
Be patient with yourself as you go through this challenging time.
Consider getting some support for yourself during this time. JFS’ weekly “Rest and Relax group” nurtures friendship, safety and comfort. The JFS Counselling Program has a dedicated group of therapists – available to support you during this difficult time.
Create new, memorable traditions.
Think about having / going to smaller gatherings with your mask on; or simply gather around a campfire with cider and cinnamon sticks.
Tickle your creativity bone.
Use your creativity to make meaningful decorations, and even gifts. Plan an event or gathering that will be a stable, stress-free time with a few friends, special relatives or just for yourself. Imagine getting into your most cozy socks and PJs, snuggling up to a good book, fun tunes and favorite holiday-scented candles?
Send family/friends meaningful books – that you can talk about.
Suggestions:
- Mitch Albom- Have a Little Faith: a True Story of the Faith Club; a Muslim, A Christian, A Jew – three women search for understanding.
- The Velveteen Rabbit, Margery Williams
- The Story of Hanukkah, David Adler
- The Polar Express, Chris Van Allsburg
- The Trees of the Dancing Goats, Patricia Polacco
Plan a Zoom event or a holiday cooking day, poetry reading, or craft gathering. Make candles, seasonal wreaths or bird feeders. Don’t stop there – offer donations on behalf of a charity or group or have a backyard solstice, listen to festive music that is joyful, uplifting and comforting. Play music with a few friends. Invite people to put together care packages for others. Have a pet food drive and donate the proceeds to your local humane society.
Let’s find and appreciate simple joys. Perhaps this is truly the ‘light’ many of us are yearning for.
JFS is a not for profit, nonsectarian social service agency serving the needs of individuals and families in Somerset, Hunterdon and Warren Counties since 1980. JFS is committed to serving the needs of the entire community and offers a continuum of programs and services. Licensed clinical social workers provide individual, couple and family counseling as well as geriatric assessments, supportive counseling and case management services for home bound elderly. The Family Mentor Program recruits, trains and matches volunteers with vulnerable young families or with elderly persons for friendly, supportive, in-home visits; Families with children with special needs are assisted through social groups, parent groups and through the Family Mentor Program. Career Counseling helps individuals in many aspects of their job search. Ohr Tikvah-Light of Hope Jewish Healing Services offers presentations, support groups, and individual spiritual counseling to address the health, wellness and healing needs of the community. All information is confidential. Many programs are at no cost, on a sliding fee scale or payable through third party insurance. If you are interested in learning more about JFS’ programs, please contact us at (908)725-7799, email us at Admin@JewishFamilySvc.org, visit our website: www.JewishFamilySvc.org and like us on Facebook. Jewish Family Service of SHW, Inc. 150-A West High Street, Somerville, NJ 08876.