The Connections Bernards-Ridge Apr 2019

PAGE 36 THE BERNARDS-RIDGE CONNECTION APRIL/MAY 2019 Divorce Lawyers Dedicated Solely to New Jersey Family Law A firm devoted solely to practicing family law, Shimalla,Wechsler, Lepp & D’Onofrio, LLP, provides exceptional services through both litigation and alternative dispute resolution.We will defend your rights and best interests at every stage of the process, and seek solutions through an intelligent and practical approach to divorce. Dependable Legal Guidance Tailored to Your Needs and Focused on Results Our lawyers provide practical guidance, advice, and recommendations to help our clients establish realistic objectives and understand the various legal options at their disposal. Our attorneys focus on: • Dissolutions of marriage, civil unions, and domestic partnerships • Child custody, parenting time, and child support • Alimony, palimony, and spousal support • Equitable distribution of assets and liabilities • Post-Judgment Matters • Domestic violence Litigation and Alternative Dispute Resolution Our attorneys understand that divorce affects every family differently.We will take the time to understand your unique circumstances and devise legal solutions tailored to suit the needs of your family. In all cases, our lawyers will explain the avenues of mediation, arbitration, and collaborative law as non-adversarial alternatives to taking a case to court.When litigation in the courts is the appropriate option, we use our extensive experience and skills to take proactive and decisive action on your behalf. Our firm takes pride in providing results-driven legal services for our clients and we remain dedicated to your best interests throughout the process. All four of our partners are trained in mediation and collaborative family law. In addition, our firm received a First Tier ranking in New Jersey Family Law by U.S. News &World Report – Best Lawyers ® for the Ninth Edition of Best Law Firms*, and three of our partners are certified by the Supreme Court of New Jersey as Certified Matrimonial Law Attorneys. We are committed to providing superior legal representation that yields favorable results in an efficient and timely manner, while helping to reduce the emotional and financial toll on the family, and focusing on your specific goals to help you build a brighter future. High-Quality Family Law Solutions Backed by 110 Years of Experience Michele E. D’Onofrio Amy Zylman Shimalla AmyWechsler Heidi Ann Lepp Shimalla,Wechsler, Lepp & D’Onofrio, LLP 101 Town Center, Suite 117,Warren, NJ 07059 (908) 922-4238 info@swldfamilylaw.com • www.swldfamilylaw.com Serving clients in most NJ counties including, but not limited to, Somerset, Hunterdon, Middlesex, Union & Morris counties. *Best Lawyers® inclusion is based entirely on peer-review. Information on the selection process can be found at http://bestlawfirms.usnews.com/methodology.aspx. No aspect of this advertisement has been approved by the Supreme Court of New Jersey. BEST In a divorce or separation, parents ask: “Who gets the children?” But children are not possessions to be bargained for or won. Consider asking a different ques- tion: “What do the children get?” The answer to that question requires a focus on what children need, which in family law is referred to as the children’s “best interests.” New Jersey law seeks to assure that children have frequent and continuing contact with both parents, and the public policy of our State encour- ages parents to share both the rights and the responsibilities of child rearing. None of us are born experts in child-rear- ing. It’s a trial and error process in which we inevitably make mistakes and hope- fully have opportunities to learn from them. Parents who separate have to fig- ure out how to raise their children, just like married parents do. All couples have disagreements and most parents – mar- ried or not – are capable of compromis- ing to make decisions and coordinate responsibility for health care, education, discipline, involvement in extra-curricular activities and other important aspects of a child’s life. Intact families do not have written rules for how this happens. But when couples divorce, that’s not the case. Instead, parents find themselves establishing written schedules, rules, and guidelines. When they cannot agree, judges decide for them. As smart or as understanding as some judges may be, they aren’t born child-rearing experts either. They know that families are better off when the parents, not the judge, decide how to raise a child. When establishing child custody, most people focus on the time children will spend with each parent. Whatever the schedule, it may be equally or even more important to focus on how decisions will be made about a child’s development and well-being. This is referred to as “legal custody.” Most parents choose joint or shared legal custody so both can have on-going meaningful input into how their children will be raised. Shared decision-making works when parents are either able to agree or willing to compromise. But what happens when parents can’t agree and the issue is important for the child? Returning to court every time there is a disagreement is simply not possible. Divorce agree- ments aimed at serving a child’s best interests can be thoughtfully drafted to include detailed provisions about deci- sion-making. For example, in some instances, one parent may have the last say about an issue because that parent is more knowledgeable or because that parent is more involved in managing the day-to-day impact of the decision. Many agreements require parents to go to mediation or counseling before resorting to court intervention. Parents who need on-going assistance can turn to other processes to help resolve child-rearing disputes without focusing on blame or producing a win/lose result. Licensed mental health professionals experienced in helping cou- ples make decisions can serve as parent- ing coaches or child specialists. Trained legal and mental health professionals can serve as parenting coordinators, making recommendations, teaching parties bet- ter communication, and helping parents reach their own solutions. In any of these roles, the professional can be a valuable resource for parents to consult with when issues arise over time, addressing the evolving needs of the child and the interests of the family in a timely, sup- portive and efficient way. CHILD CUSTODY, CO-PARENTING AND DECISION-MAKING By: Amy Wechsler, Esq. www.theconnectionsnj.com