The Connections Bernards Ridge Edition June, July & August 2021

THE BERNARDS-RIDGE CONNECTION PAGE 16 JUNE/JULY/AUGUST 2021 theconnectionsnj.com theconnectionsnj.com THE CONNECTION MAGAZINES My mother was a riveter during World War II, soldering and making safe the planes that ew men like my father across the Paci c. She wore overalls, her hair pinned away from her face, a scarf probably holding back her curls. My mother-in-law was a secretary and bookkeeper for a large insur- ance company, helping to maintain the stability of the business world. These ladies were indispens- able for years while the young men of America were on the front line during the war. Women were nurses on the battle elds, tended to the injured in the hospitals and literally kept the home res burning. Many baby boomers never met their fa- thers until they were toddlers, their moms, grand- mas and aunts caring for them. These women were both moth- er and father to their children, nurturing them and providing a full home life until the return of the soldiers. They were the unsung heroes of the war, like their ancestors before them. It has occurred to me that in the COVID era, women are once again, unsung heroes. The strain on the family has been enormous this past year, and women in general, have had to sway with the wind. Mothers have been challenged to become teach- ers and therapists for their children, many also teaching their students remotely; wom- en have been on the frontline in the medical are- na, using their skill and expertise to save lives on a continual basis, returning home to disin- fect themselves before embracing their family; countless numbers have lost their jobs due to their obligations at home and the downsizing economy, considered collateral damage of the virus; they are expected to do it all, do it well, make it all look effortless, and not expect their sacri ces to be noticed. Recently, while watching one of the dramedies I enjoy, I was struck by the subliminal message wom- en receive. When the husband lost his job, his wife held his hand, told him she will love and support him always, and says she will get a job. It is obvious it will not be as high paying as his job based on the description. He has 20 years’ experience in his eld, while she is newly graduated with no experience. He tells her the plan does not work, because child- care will be too expensive, and it will be necessary while he is looking for a job. Yes, he is correct, child- care is very expensive. And in most families, the mother is the one responsible for child-care. I remember when my daughter was a young mother, she would kiss good- bye our grandson, and whis- per that “Mama is going to work to pay for insurance and child-care.” There seems to al- ways be the catch-22 in these situations. For both parents to use their education, expertise and training in the business, service or professional world, they need to provide care for their children…but that is so expensive, takes such a huge chunk of money earned, that they cannot afford to do so. We know that it then falls back on one of the parents, usually the mother. The COVID era has created so many changes in the family dynamics. Both parents may be working remote- ly, and yet in most households, I would venture to guess that it is the women who are still in charge of educating and caring for the children. It is also most likely the mother who oversees meals during her own hectic workday, shuttling snacks and lunch to weary students sitting in front of their comput- ers. In the skewed world in which we live, men tend to earn more than women, therefore their jobs take priority, therefore women work harder to do it all, and so the vicious cycle continues. No doubt, we will look back on these days and breathe a strong and loud sign of relief. The economy will rebound, and jobs will be created or recreated, school will return to “normal,” and we will be sharing these latest “war stories” of death, loss, vaccinations and variants for years to come. If, however, anything has been pressed into my psy- che, it is that the resilience of mankind has never been more apparent, and the ability of women to step up and do what needs to be done has never been more evident! Women were nurses on the battle elds, tended to the injured in the hospitals and literally kept the home res burning. They were the unsung heroes of the war, like their ancestors before them. It has occurred to me that in the COVID era, women are once again, unsung heroes. In the skewed world in which we live, men tend to earn more than women, therefore their jobs take priority, therefore women work harder to do it all, and so the vicious cycle continues. LET’S HEAR IT FOR THE LADIES… LET’S GIVE THE LADIES A HAND! S L By Ellyn Mantell