The Connections Bernards Ridge Edition November 2020

theconnectionsnj.com HEALTH & WELLNESS PAGE 55 Hours: Tues-Fri 10:00-6:00 pm • Sat 10:00-3:00 pm The Pandemic has created a very different lifestyle compared to the one with which we are familiar. From a psychological perspective, it has become socially isolating, stressful, de- pressing, and anxiety-ridden for many. Aside from the obvious reasons, the Pandemic has had an impact on us system- ically and culturally resulting in changes in our psycholog- ical and social functioning. First, as Americans, we live in an individualistic cul- ture. That is, there is an em- phasis on “me” first. In oth- er cultures, such as in many Southeast Asian countries, the cultural emphasis is on “the group,” not the indi- vidual. Instead of individual needs, cultural programming causes people to think and act for the benefit of the communi- ty and nation. In the U.S. we think and act in accordance with our own benefit. Of course, there are times that we do consider the good of the “group” such as when it comes to fam- ily, sports teams, charity, and work environments. However, we are primarily an individual- istic society. With the advent of different social rules due to Covid precautions, Ameri- cans now have to be far more community-minded than ever before. In our attempt to keep ourselves and others safe, we need to behave and be con- siderate of others in unprece- dented ways. We now live in a culture where individuals must place the greater good as the priority. We are forced to be think- ing of “us” needs instead of “me” needs. Second, is the issue of trust. This is the first time, for our own safety, that we have to place our trust in others in terms of their wearing masks, social distancing, and staying virus-free. There is an imperative to conduct ourselves when we are in public, in a way that respects other’s safety. In essence, our height- ened awareness of others when we are in pub- lic represents a deviation from our norm. Not that we were reckless and inconsiderate of others before the Pandemic, we just weren’t as cognizant or even thought about our phys- ical distance to others or shaking hands, hug- ging, and other previously common greetings and cultural rituals. A third marked societal deviation is the impact of philosophy, values, political affil- iation, and behavioral differences among people when they are in public. In the past, these differences certainly existed, but were pre- dominantly covert, or, at best, subtly obvious. Perhaps you could make assumptions about an individual’s religion or where they are on the political spectrum by the way they dressed, but only if it was obvious. People are more conscious of others’ political and philosophical orientations based on the presence of a mask or observance of social distancing. The result, which I am sure you have witnessed, has been hostility and anger toward perfect strangers if they differ from you regarding mask and social distancing behavior. Finally, many of us have had a significant shift in our identity. For many, it has been a dif- ficult alteration and for others, a welcome one. For those whose identities are closely linked to their social and family life, there have been ex- treme limitations in your ability to engage in that part of your identity. Work-life has also been extremely altered. Our face-to-face interactions have been minimized or eliminated in terms of the personable aspects of our work life. A salesperson who previously traveled to clients to conduct business is now limited to a one-dimen- sional video transaction. So, we have a shift in our cultural orientation to become more of a collective as opposed to an individualistic society. We have become overly reliant on trusting others for our own safety. Our overt behavior implies differences in people to the point that hostility can result. And we have had to shift our identity, altering the way we think about ourselves, modifying and limiting our social/family relationships, and how we generally conduct our lives. Despite the major overhaul in our lives dictated by the Pandemic, we are still all in it together with the common goal of happiness. Dr. Michael Osit is a Licensed Psychologist practicing in Warren, and author of The Train Keeps Leaving Without Me: A Guide to Happi- ness, Freedom, and Self Fulfillment (2016), and Generation Text: Raising Well Adjusted Kids In An Age Of Instant Everything (2008). So, we have a shift in our cultural orientation to become more of a collective as opposed to an individualistic society. There is an imperative to conduct ourselves when we are in public, in a way that respects other’s safety. In essence, our heightened awareness of others when we are in public represents a deviation from our norm. M ind T he M ind LIFE IS NOW DIFFERENT: Four Ways the Pandemic Has Affected Psycho-Social Functioning If you have been following this column you hav undoubtedly oticed that I fre- quently use food and sports as metaphors to illustrate psychological concepts and life les- sons. I suppose that speaks to my uncerebral, lighter, non-psychological side. But I recently heard this non-food, non-sports metaphor on a radio talk show (okay, it as The Fan, a sports talk statio ). Anyway, I thought it was prophetic. “Your windshield is much larger than your rear-view mirror.” If you think about it, this trope expresses several lessons to help you navigate your life. The windshield is large and wide. It i import- ant to always be looking ahead at where y u are going, and at the numer- ous arrays of opportunities to take advantage of. Your future life is wide open so you don’t miss opportunities out the windshield can ironically blindly affect the direction you are traveling in your life. The Rearview Mirror Looking back at where you have been pro- vides you with the benefit of knowing what is happening all around your life. The rearview mirror helps you know from where you have come and your general sense of where you are right now. It provides you with a sense of location. Looking at your past also provides you with direction which gives you a sens of who ou ar and how you got to where you are in life. But notice that the rearview mirror is small- er than the windshield. YOUR WINDSHIELD IS MUCH LARGER THAN YOUR REAR-VIEW MIRROR Tips To Navigate Your Life By Dr. Michael Osit Attending to both the wind- shield and rearview mirror cer- tainly has benefits and pitfalls. However, if you only look ahead and ignore your rearview mirror, HE IND IND Dr. Michael Osit