theconnectionsnj.com HEALTH & WELLNESS PAGE 45 very year, as the holidays approach, I notice a rising tide of stress—not just among adults, but in children and teens as well. The gatherings, the shopping list, the shifting routines… sometimes it feels impossible just to keep up. As both a therapist and a parent, here are the principles I lean on to help my own family (and the families I work with) navigate the season with less stress and more connection. Protect the Family with Boundaries Calendars fill quickly with school concerts, extended family dinners, and work parties. I let my kids know which events we’ll attend, but I also safeguard time for just “us.” Saying “no” reinforces to children their family comes first and teaches them that prioritizing well-being over obligation is not only allowed but also important. Rethink Perfection—Together Perfectionism is a major holiday stress trap. Cookies may burn, the table may not look “Pinterest-perfect,” and yes—someone will cry (grownups included). These moments are teaching opportunities; imperfection is part of our life. When kids see their parents laugh, adapt, and move forward, they learn that flexibility and grace are far more valuable than perfection. Allow Grief to Have a Place Holidays often surface grief—whether from the loss of a loved one, changes in family structure, or memories of what once was. In my own family and in my work, I encourage making time to honor such feelings—light a candle, share stories, or set aside a moment of silence at the table. Just as important, we can integrate new rituals alongside grief: creating fresh traditions, weaving in gratitude, or finding ways to carry a loved one’s memory forward. This allows children to see that sorrow and joy can coexist, and that honoring the past while writing new narratives is part of what keeps the family strong. Create Shared Rituals of Calm Mindfulness can be a family activity. Whether it’s taking deep breaths together before walking into a noisy party or ending the night with a bedtime story, these rituals help to anchor us. They signal to our children that no matter how chaotic the world feels, our family is a place of calm and safety. Model Asking for Help Strong families aren’t without stress—they face it together. When I ask my partner or kids to pitch in, or admit that I’m tired, I’m teaching my children that leaning on each other is what families do. Dependence and support are not weaknesses—they are the threads that bond us. A Gentle Reminder: Mixed Emotions Are Normal Some holidays feel magical, others messy, and many are both at once. In my own family, I remind my children that all emotions are welcome at the table. Joy, sadness, grief, disappointment, and excitement can all coexist. Sharing them openly keeps us grounded and connected. If holiday stress feels overwhelming, reaching out for support—from friends, extended family, or professionals—can be the healthiest step. But always remember: your nuclear family is the heartbeat of your child’s world. Protecting and nurturing that bond is the greatest gift you can give this season. Every year, as the holidays ap HEALTHHOTLINE Navigating Holiday Season Stress as a ParentA Therapist’s Perspective By Daniella Mironski, MA, NCC, LPC, Clinical Director at Ellie Mental Health in Parsippany, Morristown, and Basking Ridge
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