PAGE 47 theconnectionsnj.com HEALTH & WELLNESS Wellness Starts Within. Prioritize Your Mental Health Today. Life can be overwhelming. Therapy creates space to pause and focus on yourself. MY SPECIALTIES INCLUDE Postpartum Mental Health & Parenting Support Marriage & Relationship Issues Stress & Life Transitions Self-Esteem & Personal Growth Anxiety & Mood Disorders I offer a warm, collaborative space to help you better understand yourself, navigate life’s challenges, and create lasting change. Let’s take the next step together. Complimentary 15-minute phone consultations available. IN PERSON AT 11 SOUTH FINLEY AVENUE, BASKING RIDGE, NJ 07920 VIRTUAL THERAPY PROVIDED THROUGHOUT NEW JERSEY. www.raiffecounseling.com DAINA RAIFFE, LICENSED PROFESSIONAL COUNSELOR 908-443-1658 they often sense it, even when we are trying our best to hide it. Caring about our children inevitably comes with concerns and uncertainties, so this is not to say we should never worry, nor should we model a sense of unflappable calmness. Rather, let it be an invitation to become aware of how our own anxiety may influence the messages our children receive. Sometimes, in an effort to help, parents unknowingly communicate that certain situations are dangerous or overwhelming. We may repeatedly ask if our child is nervous about school, rush to solve problems before they arise, or offer excessive reassurance. While these responses come from s summer winds down and the school year begins, many parents find themselves worrying about the months ahead. Will my child like their teachers? Make friends? Keep up academically? It’s natural for parents to worry about their children’s well-being; in fact, caring deeply about our kids is part of a healthy attachment system. That said, many parents may not realize when healthy concern becomes anxiety, or that our children are more aware of our anxiety than we realize. Children are remarkably attuned to their parents’ emotional states. Long before they can fully understand our words, they learn to read our facial expressions, tone of voice, and reactions. When we are anxious, a place of love, they can unintentionally reinforce the idea that uncertainty is something to fear, or cause children to believe their parents think they aren’t as capable as they truly are. Children develop confidence not because they never experience anxiety, but because they learn they can tolerate uncertainty and cope with challenges. As the school year begins, one of the most powerful things parents can do is pause and ask themselves, “Is this my child’s worry, or is it mine?” This question creates space to respond thoughtfully rather than reactively. It can also be helpful to model confidence. Instead of repeatedly asking, “Are you nervous?” or “Are you sure you’ll be okay?” we might say, “New things can feel hard at first. I know that you can handle this.” This normalizes a child’s feelings while communicating trust in their capacity. Parents can practice tolerating their child’s discomfort without immediately trying to remove it. When a child is worried, sad, or frustrated, our instinct may be to fix the problem quickly. Oftentimes, the most helpful response is to stay calm, help our children find the words to express their feelings, and listen supportively. By not jumping in to solve every problem, we allow our children to move through difficult feelings, while trusting that we’re right there with them. Keep in mind: children don’t need perfect parents. We can only do our best. When we notice our own anxiety and pause before reacting, we can communicate confidence and belief in our children. This helps them learn that anxious feelings are not dangerous and sets them up for success as they enter school. Raiffe Counseling is conveniently located at 11 South Finley Avenue in Basking Ridge, NJ. Daina Raiffe, Licensed Professional Counselor, offers a complimentary 15-minute phone consultation to explore whether working together feels like the right fit. You can contact her today at www.raiffecounseling.com. Helping Your Child Start the School Year Confidently Starts with You By Daina Raiffe, Licensed Professional Counselor RAISING RESILIENCE A
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