The Connections Bridgewater Somerville Apr 2020

If you have been following this column you have undoubtedly noticed that I fre- quently use food and sports as metaphors to illustrate psychological concepts and life les- sons. I suppose that speaks to my uncerebral, lighter, non-psychological side. But I recently heard this non-food, non-sports metaphor on a radio talk show (okay, it was The Fan, a sports talk station). Anyway, I thought it was prophetic. “Your windshield is much larger than your rear-view mirror.” If you think about it, this trope expresses several lessons to help you navigate your life. The windshield is large and wide. It is import- ant to always be looking ahead at where you are going, and at the numer- ous arrays of opportunities to take advantage of. Your future life is wide open so you don’t miss opportunities and you can avoid setbacks. It is also important to look in the rearview mirror to see where you have come from, and to keep yourself safe. As in almost anything in life, balance is the key to happiness. Some people spend too much time looking ahead, and some people spend too much time looking back and ruminating. Attending to both the windshield and rear- view mirror certainly has bene ts and pitfalls. The Windshield Looking out at what is immediately hap- pening as well as what is in the near future can help avoid problems and the “potholes” of life. It can also enhance your ability to en- joy the sights and landscape. Looking ahead helps you embrace the beauty of what you see, now, and in the future. It can help keep you on the right path in life. However, if you only look ahead and ignore your rearview mirror, you run the risk of repeating the same mistakes and bad decisions. So, only looking out the windshield can ironically blindly affect the direction you are traveling in your life. The Rearview Mirror Looking back at where you have been pro- vides you with the bene t of knowing what is happening all around your life. The rearview mirror helps you know from where you have come and your general sense of where you are right now. It provides you with a sense of location. Looking at your past also provides you with direction which gives you a sense of who you are and how you got to where you are in life. But notice that the rearview mirror is small- er than the windshield. You shouldn’t spend too much time glaring at the past. Too much time in the rearview mirror will certainly cause you to crash because it prevents you to see where you are going. Although helpful to examine your past to avoid repeat- ing mistakes, ruminating about your prior experiences can result in feeling depressed, guilty, excessively remorseful and regretful. It can also cause you to be stuck and immo- bilized so that you don’t attend well to the people in your present, as well as impeding your self-growth. Sideview Mirrors The sideview mirrors have not been men- tioned and are not included in the metaphor- ic title of this article. The sideview mirrors rep- resent your attention to what is going on all around you. In other words, as important as it is to look ahead and learn from the past, it is equally important to listen to the music that surrounds your car’s interior environment, and enjoy the conversation that is occurring on all sides. Dr. Michael Osit is a Licensed Psychologist prac- ticing in Warren, and author of The Train Keeps Leav- ing Without Me: A Guide to Happiness, Freedom, and Self Ful llment (2016), and Generation Text: Raising Well Adjusted Kids In An Age Of Instant Ev- erything (2008). YOUR WINDSHIELD IS MUCH LARGER THAN YOUR REAR-VIEW MIRROR Tips To Navigate Your Life By Dr. Michael Osit Attending to both the wind- shield and rearview mirror cer- tainly has bene ts and pitfalls. However, if you only look ahead and ignore your rearview mirror, you run the risk of repeating the same mistakes and bad decisions. Too much time in the rearview mirror will certainly cause you to crash because it prevents you to see where you are going. T Ǘƹ M ǛǹƵ M ǛǹƵ PAGE 42 Health & Wellness theconnectionsnj.com