theconnectionsnj.com HEALTH & WELLNESS PAGE 23 Learn to Protect Yourself! Self Defense Classes for Men, Women & Children Aikido • Jujitsu Karate • Weapons Samurai Sword (Kenjutsu) Private lessons available. 247-249 Main Street Manville, NJ 08835 732-991-4289 www.threeriversdojonj.com No nonsense, practical, combat oriented Martial Arts. ONE MONTH TRIAL $99.99 Includes a FREE Uniform Do you see yourself as a successful person? Regardless of how you define what your personal success is, have you arrived or are you still evolving? In the early 1970s, William Glasser, MD coined the term, “success identity.” Your success identity is how you see yourself. It is a relationship with yourself that is the culmination of your physical appearance, values, morals, personal attributes, social status, occupation, specific skills, and more. Your picture of yourself, or your schemata, may be very, very different than how others see you. I once worked with a successful Madison Ave. model that entered therapy because she felt guilty and ashamed that people would pay her $1000 an hour to take her picture because she did not see herself as pretty. Regardless of whether or not you see yourself as others do, if you perceive yourself as having a success identity, it can be one of the most important factors determining your actual success. A success identity consists of more than positive self-esteem. It is really the sum of all that you believe about yourself, the general outlook you have for yourself, and how you think about yourself. Someone with a success identity readily accepts new challenges because they see their potential to meet those challenges. They have an automatic, “I can do this” attitude. They have goals with plans to attain those goals. Success identity empowers a person to believe almost anything is possible. They are persistent because they believe there is always a way to solve problems or get what they want. Someone with a success identity sees the “up-side” of situations, and makes choices to seize opportunities. So, how do you see yourself? Do you embrace life and all that it brings with a basic belief that you can be who you want to be and get what you want out of it? Or, do you have a failure identity that is pessimistic and riddled with thoughts such as, “I can’t,” “I shouldn’t,” or “I will never be able to.” Thoughts like those can actually prevent you from succeeding. If you are now realizing that you automatically possess these negative beliefs about yourself and your life, then you need to start shifting to a success identity. Becoming aware of your negative, pessimistic thoughts is the first step. Next, you need to challenge these unhelpful beliefs and thoughts by questioning their validity or by inverting your thinking. In other words, “I can’t do this” is questioned by, “What is stopping me?” “I shouldn’t do that” is challenged by “Why not do it?” Deciding to take action in a positive way, fighting that maladaptive, self-defeating view of your identity will help create a success identity, and subsequently, success in your life. Remember-you can possess a success identity by changing your beliefs and perception of yourself. Believe you can do anything you put your mind to do, and put positive plans into action. Your success identity can create success in your life. Dr. Michael Osit is a Licensed Psychologist practicing in Warren, and author of The Train Keeps Leaving Without Me: A Guide to Happiness, Freedom, and Self Fulfillment (2016), and Generation Text: Raising Well Adjusted Kids In An Age Of Instant Everything (2008). Mind The Mind Regardless as to whether or not you see yourself as others do, if you perceive yourself as having a success identity, it can be one of the most important factors determining your actual success. Success identity empowers a person to believe almost anything is possible. They are persistent because they believe there is always a way to solve problems or get what they want. Dr. Michael Osit SUCCESS IDENTITY
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