The Connections Bridgewater-Somerville June-2019

JUNE/JULY/AUGUST 2019 THE BRIDGEWATER-SOMERVILLE CONNECTION PAGE 19 1200 Route 22 East, Suite 10, Bridgewater, New Jersey 08807 732-399-9710 • Fax: 732-399-9701 kskopak@weiner.law • www.weiner.law Kelly A. Skopak, Esq. Family Law Attorney There are few events in your life that can be more stressful and devastating than family issues resulting in legal action. Protect yourself and your family’s future by allowing Kelly to assist you in navigating the financial and emotional intricacies of the divorce process. Kelly is highly skilled in all aspects of family law matters, including divorce, spousal support, equitable distribution, complex property division (including business and personal assets), custody and parenting time disputes, parent/child relocation, child support, domestic violence, guardianship, and related matters. Kelly is a member of both the New Jersey and New York Bar, serves as a member of the Barry I. Croland Family Law Inn of Court and volunteers as an Early Settlement Program Panelist. Kelly also volunteers her time with the Women’s Legal Clinic of Morris County Community College and serves as Pro Bono Counsel for the Women’s Legal Advocacy Project (“BWLAP”). Kelly has been selected for inclusion in the New Jersey Super Lawyers- Rising Stars 2018 and 2019. Please contact Kelly to set up a free consultation. A ten year old adolescent comes home from school, crying inconsolably and is distraught after being taunted by his best friend who joined a group of tough classmates. A fourteen year old teenager attempted suicide because thoughtless classmates defamed her on the internet. In 2018, two teenagers died by apparent suicide after the shooting at Marjorie Stoneman Douglas High School in Florida. These and similar scenarios are experienced much too often. Parents must give their off- springs the strength and knowledge of how to handle these and other threatening situations before the actual event occurs. A parent is a mentor, a guide, a confidant and a friend and should equip children with important life’s skills that will protect them from harm’s way. The parent must encourage children to be proud of who they are, recognize their child’s feelings of insecurity and, importantly, should try to strengthen their children’s weaknesses and encourage them to improve whatever attributes are needed to be altered for their well being. A child must be equipped with the knowledge of what potential calamities might lie ahead and understand how to handle most potential situa- tions. When is the best time in a child’s life to dis- cuss these issues? Skills are taught from the moment the child is born. However, the optimal time to teach management skills to avoid possible future major calamities in life starts at the age of six and should be reinforced every year thereafter. Most situations are best discussed by the time the child is twelve years of age and especially before an adolescent may become obstinate. Parents should encourage a MONTHLY FAMILY MEETING, in which all siblings and parents must partake. Thirty to sixty minutes each month should be ade- quate time to discuss some acute and potential future problems, and over time, most pertinent topics would have been covered. Any topic can be raised and all family members are encouraged to give their opinions during the meeting. Parents should basically guide the dis- cussion, allowing the children to analyze the facts presented and collectively arrive at correct solutions. Parents should contribute important information if the discussion is not proceeding in the proper direction or additional information is indicated. Topics can be brought up because of recent events reported in newspapers or on tele- vision or, on a personal level, a current experi- ence of one of the family members. The remain- der of the meeting time should be devoted to discussing potential situations that children might encounter in the future, such as handling bullying or sexual molestation. Having important dialogues between children and parents should be a common event in all homes, especially when the child is young and, hopefully, before a devastating event happens. The discussions should be very light in tone and in good humor, and yet be informative and instructive to children. The parent must allow children to express their own opinions openly and not be fearful or ashamed of describing events that they might have encountered. All family members must exercise confidentiality and at the end of the session of the Family Meeting, children will, hopefully understand the dangers of a particular event and what they should do or not do if they find themselves in a similar situa- tion in the future. Lets re-examine the scenarios of children who were emotionally traumatized by gun violence or were accosted by fellow classmates. Let's assume that these children discussed these events in a FAMILY MEETING. The parents could have possi- bly detected insecurities and fears of the children and understood the emotional distresses that the children were experiencing. Appropriate solutions by members at the Family Meeting would have been suggested and professional help could have been sought if the parents felt it was indicated. Parents are encouraged to obtain a free e-book copy, PREPARING CHILDREN FOR THE FUTURE by requesting one on the email site, AskDrMel@ yahoo.com. This manual will guide parents or group leaders in instructing important life man- agement skills to children. A suggested curricu- lum can be found in the book. A hard copy is obtainable on the Amazon web site and at the present time, tax free foundations are being queried to supply hard copies to schools and par- ents at no charge. Parent and school instruction- al programs using the book are available. Only by giving children knowledge and insight, will they successfully not fall into the traps of calamities and have a successful and rewarding life. “Dr. Mel” is a Pediatrician who has always champi- oned the needs of children. He is a graduate of Cor- nell–Weill Medical School and the author of medical and lay articles, the latter under the by-line, “ASK DR. MEL.” Comments and queries should be addressed to AskDrMel@yahoo.com. ROLE OF THE FAMILY MEETING - PROTECTING CHILDREN FROM ADDICTION AND OTHER CALAMITIES By: Melvin S. Rosh, MD, FAAP (Dr. Mel) theconnectionsnj.com