theconnectionsnj.com HEALTH & WELLNESS PAGE 36 Many of us are in the throes of being responsible for and taking care of both our children and our parents. If you nd yourself trying to meet the needs of both generations, you are part of the “Sandwich Generation”, where the bread represents your children and your parents, and you are the “sandwich meat” (avocado, tomato, and white bean spread for vegan and vegetarian diets). With the unusual amount of stress you may already feel just managing your own life, taking care of two other generations makes it exhausting at times. Both your children and your elderly parents require so much of your resources, that istime, emotional energy, money, and physical presence- leaving very little left for yourself. As my wife put it so well, “Sometimes there is very little meat in this sandwich.” With the past, present, and residual effects of Covid, the economy, work demands, and the myriad of everyday stressors, being a member of the sandwich generation creates a bi-generational crunch that can easily compromise your own physical and mental health. And if the meat in a sandwich becomes too thin or nonexistent, all you have is bread and no sandwich. Where does that leave your children and parents? What will your children and parents do if they are relying on the “meat” and there isn’t any? So, it is imperative to take care of yourself and learn how to manage this often dif cult situation. Managing the Bi-generational Crunch Fortunately, there are some strategies you can employ to minimize the effects of meeting your parents’ and children’s needs. • First and foremost, be realistic about how much you can do for them and that you will not be able to be everything to everyone. Accept the fact that you need to, or must say, “no, I can’t” when the request stretches too far. • In those probably rare moments when the bread is on auto pilot, take advantage of the time to just relax, do something for yourself, or with your partner. • If you can, maintain a exible work schedule so you can organize and manage your personal life needs ef ciently. • Whenever you can handle something remotely instead of going in-person, do so. You do not need to always be present to solve problems and provide help to either generation. • Whenever possible, seek the help of other family members for either generation. If they live far away, there may be some responsibilities they can take care of for your parents using the phone or internet. • Incorporate the help of your children to help with your parents. They can be not only a tremendous resource, but their presence can help with their grandparents’ health and happiness. • Accept whatever help you can from anyone you trust, of course. You don’t always have to do it alone. • When you feel like you are at the end of your rope, try to remember that your role is a temporary one. Sadly, your parents will not be around forever, and your children will eventually become independent and self-suf cient. Dr. Michael Osit is a Licensed Psychologist practicing in Warren, and the author of The Train Keeps Leaving Without Me: A Guide to Happiness, Freedom, and Self Ful llment (2016), and Generation Text: Raising Well Adjusted Kids In An Age Of Instant Everything (2008). MIND THE MIND With the past, present, and residual effects of Covid, the economy, work demands, and the myriad of everyday stressors, being a member of the sandwich generation creates a bi-generational crunch that can easily compromise your own physical and mental health. By Dr. Michael Osit The Sandwich Generation Taking Care of Our Kids and Our Parents
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