theconnectionsnj.com HEALTH & WELLNESS PAGE 41 Dr. Daniel Sullivan Dr. Camille Marquis Dr. Michael Awadallah Dr. David Mann Dr. Nikhil Menhandru Dr. Odai Abushanab Dr. Bruce Nguyen bout 2 years ago, I started playing Pickleball. As an ex-tennis player, I picked the game up rather quickly. Although I play with three different groups, I found myself enjoying one particular group far more than the other two. Unlike the two other groups, we laugh (a lot!), we always have positive feelings for one another, are always glad to see one another, and have a genuinely good time. Interestingly, almost all of this group are new friends in that I joined them randomly and they were very inclusive. They knew nothing about me, my profession, my family, or what kind of person I am. It was a clean slate with no history. Yet, they welcomed me, and I quickly felt part of the group. Interestingly, the group of about 15 players is as heterogeneous as they come, representing a variety of educational, professional, religious, and political backgrounds. There is a fireman, an NYU professor, an environmental research scientist, an electrician, stay-at-home moms, a Hindu, a CEO, 3 Asians, a Muslim, several Jews, and Catholics to name a few. But none of these differences matter. We are all there to have fun, get some exercise, and socialize. So why am I writing about this group? Because it reinforces the concept that groups are united by a common goal, and that personal differences in backgrounds or belief systems no longer matter when you are all working for the same outcome. This applies to families, as well. Families certainly have the common goals of health, happiness, and success. Meaningful cooperation pervades when individual needs take a back seat to the common goal. In a world where differences are accentuated, and similarities are easily overlooked, we forget that we are all in it for the same reasons. In your family, these words should be verbalized and repeated to one another. “We are all in it for the same reasons.” Sharing the same hopes, values, and goals needs to be verbalized to your partner as well as your children. It is a team approach where everyone is on the same page so that individual needs can be met while banding together to help the family function smoothly. I realize that this sounds somewhat idealistic because each family member may have different wants or needs. Individuality cannot be ignored. However, diversity can actually contribute positively to the family dynamic as it stretches the boundaries and creates growth. Different perspectives can lead to better ideas and more gratifying ways of doing things. More than likely, you belong to many groups. Friends, co-workers, family, Mah Jongg, Canasta, tennis, PTA, and so on. All of your groups have a common goal. Notice how the group attains that goal, and moreover, what happens when there is an antagonist that disrupts the goal of the group. Most importantly, apply these common goal dynamics and strategies utilized in your groups to your most important group-your family. Dr. Michael Osit is a Clinical Psychologist, Clinical Director and owner of Watchung Psychological Associates in Warren, NJ. He is also the author of Generation Text: Raising Well Adjusted Kids In An Age Of Instant Everything and The Train Keeps Leaving Without Me: A Guide To Happiness, Freedom, and Self-Fulfillment. MINDTHEMIND We Are All In It Together By Dr. Michael Osit A ...that personal differences in backgrounds or belief systems no longer matter when you are all working for the same outcome.
RkJQdWJsaXNoZXIy NzA2NDY0