The Connections Warren-Watchung Edition April/May 2023

VOLUME XCIII VO C APRIL/MAYY 2023 Warren, Watchung, Martinsville, Stirling, Millington, Gillette, Green Brook, Basking Ridge, Berkeley Heights, New Providence Warren-Watchung Edition n g o VOLUME LXX VV NOV 2022-JAN 2023 B rnardsville, Basking R dge, Bedminster, Mendham, Far Hills, Peapack/Gladston , Chester, Morristown Be nards-Ridge Edition a n FAMILY ADVENTURES Illuminated Holiday Fun in NYC WHAT ABOUT WINE? Champagne - The Most Festive Wine On Earth! FIT & HEALTHY Weekend Weight Gain - 7 Tips To Stick To Your Fat Loss Goals PLAY TO WIN! Details on page 6 Cover Artwork By Linda Quinn Cover Artwork By Megan Saum WOMEN-OWNED Celebrating The Accomplishm n s Of Local Businesswomen COMMUNITY NEWS Ma sion in May - Designer Showcase FASHION FLASH The Spring Scoop for M n PLAY TO WIN! Details on page 6

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THE WARREN-WATCHUNG CONNECTION PAGE 6 APRIL/MAY 2023 theconnectionsnj.com Spring is here to make our days better, brighter, and warmer. Be sure to take the time to enjoy the warm sunshine, smell the roses and shop local! When the new issue comes out, I love to sit on my porch on a beautiful spring morning with my coffee and read about all the wonderful businesses-delicious restaurants, stores with quality and unique merchandise, and shops with superior service. Because these establishments are LOCAL, they are able to provide us with personalized service and attention. We are lucky enough to live in an area that has the ability to provide a wide array of small businesses waiting to serve us and welcome us into their stores! In this issue, we are proud to celebrate WOMEN OWNED BUSINESSES! We take our hats off to these female entrepreneurs, armed with strength and determination, to work hard and sail through tough times to see opportunities to launch new endeavors. Take a look at the Women Owned Directory and see how many of the small businesses in our towns are owned by women. Please join me, as a female business owner, in honoring and supporting them. Give yourself a spring treat; visit Mansion in May at Three Fields in Mendham. It is a mustattend event, showcasing forty-four of the area’s top interior and landscape designers. Mansion in May runs throughout the entire month of May. To learn more, read the Community News article, “Premier Interior and Landscape Designers Come Together for Mansion in May 2023 at Three Fields”, by Barbara Gallo. April showers bring loss of power, tree blocked roads, and other emergencies. Learn how to protect yourself in these crises. The Community Emergency Response Team (CERT) educates people about disaster preparedness for hazards that impact their area. Read about what they do and how to sign up for a class in our Community News column from Warren Township Office of Emergency Management. Our beautiful cover features a Watchung Hills High School student, Megan Saum. I love the colors and the technique she employed to highlight the transparency of the glass bottles. Megan says of her piece, Glass Still Life, “The clarity of the glass transforms what is behind it to emphasize realism and to make the piece come together for the viewer.” To learn more about Megan, read her bio on page 8. We thank our readers who love reading our PRINT magazines and also thank those who can easily navigate the vast DIGITAL space to enjoy the issue. To make it easier for our digital readers, there is a FREE digital subscription. Get instant access, anytime and anywhere! The subscription link is: theconnectionsnj.com/subscribe-to-our-magazines. Sincerely, Anna Petro, Publisher HIGHLIGHTS... Disclaimer: The views expressed in the articles are the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the views of The Connection Magazines. We publish all advertisements, editorials, and other content in good faith. We cannot guarantee or accept any liability for the accuracy of the claims made by our advertisers. PUBLISHED BY Connection Magazine, LLC • P.O. Box 4081 • Warren, NJ 07059 908-903-1799 • info@theconnectionsnj.com CONTRIBUTING WRITERS... Rosie Battista, Gail Bicknell, ASID,CAPS, Elizabeth Fandel, Barbara Gallo, Carolyn Hanson, Joanne Kleinle, Irene Lebbad, MSW, LCSW, David Marzano, Dr. Michael Osit A NOTE FROM OUR PUBLISHER... ON THE COVER Megan Saum ......................................................... Page 8 CONNECTION COMMENDS Mediterranean Tile................................................ Page 50 Fellowship Village . ............................................... Page 62 EDITORIALS Fashion Flash- Adams Fine Clothing............................................. Page 14 BERKELEY HEIGHTS SECTION..................... Pages 16-17 SPRING SECTION........................................... Pages 18-25 Ask The FurrierSchultz & Blaustein................................................ Page 21 WOMEN OWNED DIRECTORY..................... Pages 26-27 KIDZ CONNECTION SECTION. .................... Pages 28-31 Family Adventures................................................. Page 30 HEALTH & WELLNESS SECTION.................. Pages 41-47 Health HotlineCenter for Intrapersonal Wellness........................ Page 41 Mind the Mind....................................................... Page 42 Rosie Battista......................................................... Page 46 Community News-Warren OEM. .......................... Page 47 HOME & DESIGN SECTION.......................... Pages 50-60 Community News-Mansion in May....................... Page 52 Hints for the HomeFair Street Interiors............................................... Page 53 Creative Corner..................................................... Page 56 SENIOR LIVING SECTION............................. Pages 62-65 Senior Corner......................................................... Page 64 COMMUNITY CALENDAR............................. Pages 66-67 HOUSES OF WORSHIPFaith, Hope, Joy.................................................... Page 68 WE'RE HIRING! BECOME A PART OF OUR TEAM Advertising Sales Rep Needed send resume to: info@theconnectionsnj.com See more details on page 61 Founded by the Late Robin Fand THE CONNECTION'S TEAMWELCOMES SPRING! OFFICE MANAGER Donna Reina EDITORIAL & PRODUCTION COORDINATOR Georgeann Agaisse SOCIAL MEDIA & PRODUCTION COORDINATOR Heather Silver ADVERTISING EXECUTIVE Patty Herman ADVERTISING EXECUTIVE Alicia Singman Somewhere in this Magazine is a FAKE AD. Spot it and send your answer, name, city and phone number to: Spotthefake@theconnectionsnj.com or play online at theconnectionsnj.com Congratulations to everyone that spotted Penelope’s Poetic Pen in our February issue! AND THE WINNER IS… Christine Cirrotti of Stirling. Christine won a gift certificate to Stretch Lab. SPOT THE FAKE!

THE WARREN-WATCHUNG CONNECTION PAGE 8 APRIL/MAY 2023 theconnectionsnj.com SAL’S AUTO BODYINC. Serving Your Community for 53 Years 315 HIGHWAY 22 (EAST BOUND) • GREEN BROOK HOURS: M-F8AM- 5:30PM Closed on Saturdays NJ LicenseNo. 00342A www.salsautobodyinc.com info@salsautobodyinc.com Where quality repairs are no accident (732) 968-2214 • Collision Specialists • CustomPainting • Paintless Dent Repairs We work with all insurance companies for appraisals and repairs. 152 Liberty Corner Road Warren, NJ 07059 :PVS 6 4 #BOL NPSUHBHF UFBN JT IFSF usbank.com/mortgage Loan approval is subject to credit approval and program guidelines. Not all loan programs are available in all states for all loans amounts. Interest rates and program terms are subject to change without notice. Visit usbank.com to learn more about U.S. Bank products and services. Mortgage, Iome Fquity and Dredit products are offered by U.S. Bank National Association. Deposit products are offered by U.S. Bank National Association. Member FDIC. ©2023 U.S. Bank Libby Hontz 0RUWJDJH /RDQ 2IILFHU - - PGGJDF 908-581-9554 DFMM libby.hontz@usbank.com NMLS# 602511 Tony Clintock 1DWLRQDO 5HWDLO 6DOHV (VP q (DVW 732-841-4677 tony.clintock@usbank.com NMLS# 837683 Mark Ward %UDQFK 0DQDJHU &HUWLILHG &RQVWUXFWLRQ /RDQ 6SHFLDOLVW - - PGGJDF 908-500-5114 DFMM mark.ward@usbank.com NMLS# 624105 Jack Kuriloff Sr. Mortgage Loan Officer 908-991-4872 PGGJDF 908-304-2162 DFMM jack.kuriloff@usbank.com NMLS# 624275 Marc Bauer 0RUWJDJH /RDQ 2IILFHU 908-991-4867 PGGJDF - - DFMM marc.bauer@usbank.com NMLS# 624089 Art has always been a passion for Megan Saum, a Junior at Watchung Hills Regional High School. Coming from a family of artists, her grandmothers and her aunts inspired her love for creativity. Megan’s art teachers throughout the years also helped to provide her with the foundations to guide her on her artistic journey. She enjoys working with colored pencils, watercolor, acrylic paint, and ceramics. Megan’s favorite medium is colored pencils because she enjoys drawing elaborate details and enhancing her skills through color theory. Her Fine Arts Honors class has helped Megan build her portfolio, improve on her skills and build confidence. While at Warren Middle School, Megan’s Peace Poster was selected to represent the Warren Township Lion’s Club. In addition to art, Megan engages in other varied interests. Megan plays field hockey at Watchung Hills and is a manager for the high school wrestling team. As the current President for the Warren Township Leo Club, Megan enjoys giving back to her community through service projects. In the future, Megan aspires to major in art in college to further develop her skills for a career in studio art. MEGAN SAUM Watchung Hills Regional High School She enjoys working with colored pencils, watercolor, acrylic paint, and ceramics. Megan’s favorite medium is colored pencils because she enjoys drawing elaborate details and enhancing her skills through color theory. ON THE COVER

Siu Wong Sales Associate (Owner) Cell: 908-581-9593 siuwong@remax.net siuwong.com Featured Listings Premier COMING SOON COMING SOON FOR SALE COMING SOON FOR SALE UNDER CONTRACT COMING SOON FOR SALE UNDER CONTRACT 132 Liberty Corner Road Far Hills 14 Magnolia Lane Warren 16 Glenview Drive Warren - $2,850,000 5 Willow Woods Trail Warren 7 Ming Court Chester - $950,000 9 Conifer Drive Warren 16 Mattben Drive Warren 15 Talmadge Lane Basking Ridge - $1,450,000 4 Meadow Drive Warren Warren Resident since 1985. Devoted to serving the needs of buyers and sellers for over 25 years! Closed over $55 Million of Business in 2022! Fluent in English, Mandarin, Cantonese and Tagalog (Filipino) NJ Realtors® Circle of Excellence Sales Award®: (Distinguished Sales Club Member) Platinum Level: 2022-2012 (11 consecutive years), 2010, 2005, 2004 • Gold Level: 2011, 2009, 2008, 2007, 2006, 2003 RE/MAX Awards: Hall of Fame, Life Time Achievement, Diamond Club, Circle of Legends RE/MAX Premier - 60 Mountain Blvd, Warren, NJ 07059 - 908-754-1500

HOME VALUES ARE UP CASH OUT YOUR EQUITY NOW O: 732.389.9898x112 C: 732.742.4951 Andrews@njlenders.com Licensed by the New Jersey Department of Banking & Insurance Licensed by the New York Dept of Financial Services Licensed Loan officer in Florida Division Manager NMLS #7155 NY, NJ, FL PURCHASE OR REFINANCE 1ST HOME, 2ND HOME OR INVESTMENT PROPERTY • Don't let the EQUITY slip away • Cash out, payoff credit cards, make home improvements; new bath, finished basement, pool etc., • Pay for college tuition 39 Ave at the Commons, Shrewsbury, NJ NMLS # 1116706 Licenses: NJ Lenders Corp. NMLS ID: 35286 www.nmlsconsumeraccess.org | Connecticut Mortgage Lender License No. 8566 | Florida Mortgage Lender License No. MLD583 | Maryland Mortgage Lender License No. 19642 | New Jersey Residential Mortgage Lender License No. 9100938. Licensed by the N.J. Department of Banking and Insurance | New York Licensed Mortgage Banker NYS Department of Financial Services. Mortgage Banker License No. B500605 and Exempt Mortgage Loan Servicer Registration No. B500605 | Pennsylvania Mortgage Lender License No. 22105 | Virginia NMLS ID No. 35286 (www.nmlsconsumeraccess.org). Virginia Broker License No. MC3196; Lender License No. MC-3196. This information is not a loan commitment or an offer to extend credit as defined by 10 CFR 1026.2. Program rates, loan terms and conditions are subject to change at any time and may vary based on the individual borrower’s eligibility and credit history. NJ Lenders Corp. is an Equal Housing Lender. Andrew Savoca CALL WHILE VALUES ARE UP! HO E VALUES ARE UP CASH OUT YOUR EQUITY NO O: 732.389.9898x112 C: 732.742.4951 Andrews@njlenders.com Licensed by the New J rsey D partment of Banking & Insurance Licensed by the New York Dept of Financi l Services Licensed Loan fficer in Florida Division Manager NMLS #7155 NY, NJ, FL PURCHASE OR REFINANCE 1ST HOME, 2ND HOME OR INVESTMENT PROPERTY • Don't let he EQUITY slip away • Cash out, payoff credit cards, make home improvements; new bath, finished basement, po l etc., • Pay for college tuit on 39 Ave at the Comm ns, Shrewsbury, NJ NMLS # 1116706 Licenses: NJ Lenders Corp. NMLS ID: 35286 www.nmlsconsumeraccess.org | C nnecticut Mortgage Lender License No. 8566 | Florida Mortgage Lender License No. MLD583 | Maryland Mortgage Lender License No. 19642 | New Jersey Residential Mortgage Lender License No. 9100938. Licensed by the N.J. Department of Banking and Insurance | New York Licensed Mortgage B nker NYS Department of Financial Services. Mortgage B nker License No. B50060 and Exempt Mortgage Loan Servicer Registration No. B50060 | Pennsylva ia Mortgage Lender License No. 22105 | Virginia NMLS ID No. 35286 (www.nmlsconsumeraccess.org). Virginia Broker License No. MC3196; Lender License No. MC-3196. This informati n is n t a loan commitment or a ffer t extend cr dit as efine by 10 CFR 1026.2. Program rates, loan terms and conditions are subj ct to change at any time and m y vary based on the i dividual borrower’s eligibility and credit history. NJ Lenders Corp. is an Equal Ho sing Lender. Andrew Savoca CALL WHILE VALUES ARE UP!

THE WARREN-WATCHUNG CONNECTION PAGE 12 APRIL/MAY 2023 theconnectionsnj.com NOWOPEN! Our new state-of-the-art hospital is open! Services include: Like and Follow us on Facebook

THE WARREN-WATCHUNG CONNECTION PAGE 14 APRIL/MAY 2023 theconnectionsnj.com In March of 2020, the pandemic put more than half the world’s workforce at home in sweatpants and shorts for the better part of two years. But now, in 2023, that time is over. While the world has seen a shift towards casual wear in the last decade, we’re at a moment in time where men are actually taking the time and putting effort into their looks. While that may lead you to think that suits and sport coats are relics of the past, they are more popular than ever-just through a modern perspective. Tailoring overall has become more relaxed, unstructured and Italian-inspired, which, put simply, means no padding and no canvas. In layman’s terms, it means your suits and sport coats have become more comfortable. With these soft flexible garments, guys in 2023 don’t mind and are actually excited to wear a jacket to work or when relaxing. Which is why, at Adams, we’re leaning heavily into these looks, but done our way. We believe in the timelessness of a garment that is well-made and will last you for years, yet still modern looking. SUITING  Lightened Up - Suits are overall lightening up, in both construction and color. Lightly canvased garments in lighter shades of blues, grays and earth tones are prevalent.  Classic but Modern - Cut in a classic, timeless style, the suit in 2023 should look great now and for decades to come. SPORTS COATS  Plaid is still going strong in 2023, and for spring, we’re seeing lighter and bigger patterns.  Lighter blues and grays are a classic, but shades of green and berry red are the season’s most popular colors. PANTS  Two Words: Five Pockets  Five Pocket pants are the king of pants in 2023.  Shades of navy and mid gray are the first two pairs you should get.  Then lighten it up with shades of tan and pearl gray; you’ll be surprised how much they go with. SHIRTS AND KNITS  Shirts with small indiscrete patterns with a white background are perfect on their own or layered underneath a shirt or sport jacket.  Polos and knits in pastel shades of baby blue, sage green, lavender and pink are a way to add some seasonal pop to your outfit without looking like you’re at an Easter parade. THE GO ANYWHERE LOOK  We’re seeing these perfectly-balanced, sharp, casual outfits that are perfect anywhere, any time.  A sportcoat, combined with a dressy pair of jeans or Five-Pockets is a perfect high/low combo that is as modern as it is versatile. See for yourself the difference a special men’s clothing store can make: Adams Fine Clothing & Tuxedo 1275 Springfield Ave., New Providence, NJ 908-665-0800, AdamsFineClothing.com By David Marzano Manager, Adams Fine Clothing & Tuxedo The Spring Scoop for Men FASHION FLASH       €  ‚  

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SPOTLIGHT on Berkeley Heights

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theconnectionsnj.com SHOPPING, DINING, BEAUTY & EVENTS PAGE 21 We are thrilled to be recommended by LUXURY OUTERWEAR SINCE 1913 for the future service of their loyal clientele Furs by Guarino COME SEE US AT OUR LOCATIONS 732.741.2675 43 Monmouth Street Red Bank, NJ 07701 973.379.1080 516 Millburn Avenue Short Hills, NJ 07078 www.sbfurs.com @schultzblaustein IT'S FUR STORAGE TIME! With proper care, cleaning, and storage, a fur coat can last for decades before being repurposed and upcycled. Common sense and some TLC can keep a fur in peak condition for many years. Furs don’t like heat, friction and cramped spaces. But they do thrive on the following: • Fur Storage. Nothing shortens the lifespan of a fur like keeping it cooped up in the closet during the hot summer months. Home storage – even using air conditioning or cedar closets will not protect your fur from drying out or from dust, dirt, and insect damage. A cedar closet absorbs moisture and will dry out the leather. Professional fur vaults are specially designed environments with carefully controlled humidity and temperature. When furs are not professionally stored, though the fur may not appear to be damaged, the natural oils in the leather may dry out. When the oil diminishes it can prematurely age the garment and leave it more vulnerable to rips and tears. • Fur Cleaning. Furs should be cleaned annually by a fur specialist – never by a dry cleaner for clothes. While fur may not look dirty, it needs freshening to remove particles of dirt on the fur and to keep it soft. The cleaning process – putting oils back into the fur and leather – prolongs its longevity and enhances the luster of the fur. • Fur Care. Avoid shoulder-strap hand bags on a consistent basis as the strap will rub the fur and create bald patches. Avoid getting perfume and hairspray on the fur. Do not treat a fur with mothballs. • When Fur Gets Wet. Most furs can handle some rain and snow. Shake it out and hang it in a well-ventilated room. Never hang the fur near direct heat. Resist the temptation to use a hair dryer on the fur and do not use a brush or comb on the fur. Should the fur get thoroughly soaked, professional treatment by a fur retailer is required. • Closet Space Needed. During the winter, give your fur ample closet space with no exposure to bright light, which can cause fur to oxidize and change color. • Broad Shouldered Hanger. During the fur-wearing season, a fur needs to hang on a broad-shouldered hanger – no wires! A fur retailer can provide one. • Fur Needs Breathing Room. Fur needs air circulation to prevent its leather side from drying out. Never cover fur with a plastic bag. If it must be covered for a short period of time, use a loosely woven cloth bag so the fur can breathe. • Enjoy Wearing Your Fur! Schultz & Blaustein 516 Millburn Ave., Short Hills, NJ 973-379-1080 Visit our website: sbfurs.com Proper Storage and Maintenance of Your Fur ASK THE FURRIER

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KIDZ CONNECTION PAGE 30 theconnectionsnj.com 3 + By Joanne Kleinle Get Ready for an Adventure- in New York’s Central Park! As winter fades away and spring approaches, I can’t help thinking of Mary Poppins grabbing the hands of the Banks children and heading out for a glorious day in the park to “fly a kite.” We are so fortunate to have so many public parks in our area where we can do just that on a gusty spring day. Even better, if you are looking to make your day in the park into a real “stay-cation,” you should pack up your family and head into New York’s Central Park. This massive 843-acre oasis in our backyard is world famous and for good reason. It has something for everyone from history buffs to architecture aficionados to geologists to people (and dogs) just looking to run, row, or enjoy a relaxing afternoon with nature. You could easily spend days just walking through this beautiful park, climbing on the incredible rock formations, and looking at the beautiful bridges and sculptures throughout. If you have a family in tow, though, you might want to be prepared and have a few interactive activities in your back pocket to keep the crew from getting restless. For a full listing of all that the park has to offer, including fees and special events, you should explore the website at www.centralparknyc.org. Here are my family favorites: (These are also great ideas if you are entertaining people from out of town who want to explore New York City in a whole new way.) The most famous spot in the park might be the Central Park Zoo, and for good reason. The zoo is not large-it can be done in half a day if you do not linger. It has an amazing collection of animals from tropical, temperate, and polar zones that rival zoos that are much larger- including the best penguin exhibit that I have seen anywhere! Be sure to note the sea lion feeding times as you enter. You do not want to miss it! The zoo also includes a children’s zoo with sheep, goats, a pot-bellied pig, and the only cow in Manhattan. If you have Mary Poppins on your mind, no trip to the park would be complete without visiting the historic carousel. Located mid-park around 65th Street, the carousel has more than 50 individual horses. Call 212-439-6900 for hours, fees and info. One of the park’s lesser-known gems is the Swedish Cottage. Nestled on the West Side of the park around 79th Street, this fairytale-like cottage hosts one of the last marionette companies in the United States. The troop will be performing “Wake Up, Daisy!,” a modern take on Sleeping Beauty, every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday at 11 am and 1 pm through June. Tickets must be purchased in advance at cityparksfoundation.org. Your kids will love it-and you will too! After the performance, head over to the East Side of the Park around 75th Street to the Conservatory Water. This is a scene from another famous children’s tale- E.B. White’s Stuart Little. From April through October, you can sit and watch the remote-controlled, wind-powered sailboats cruise around the water or take part in the action and rent one for yourself-no mouse required! While you are there you can take a look at the Alice in Wonderland statue and let the kids’ (and your own) imaginations roam as you take in the beauty of the statue and imagine the fanciful story. Just a quick walk will take you to The Lake in the middle of the park between 71st and 78th streets. Since the mid-nineteenth century, New Yorkers have used this lake as a way to get away from the chaos of the city. The Loeb Boathouse has a cafe and restaurant where you can sit and look out at the peaceful lake. In April through October, you can rent a rowboat to take yourself around or hire a gondola for an intimate guided tour of The Lake. If you head north to 106th Street on the East Side, you will find Harlem Meer. Here you can find a pond stocked with largemouth bass, pumpkinseed sunfish, bluegill sunfish, and chain pickerel in the middle of Manhattan! Fishing poles are available for rent at no charge and you can pick up bait at the Charles A. Dana Discovery Center. While there, you can also “rent” lawn games or discovery kits with kidsized binoculars, a hand lens, and colored pencils. There is no fee for rentals, but a deposit is required. There are also “discovery journals” available-free of charge. These are just a few of the adventures awaiting you and your family in Central Park. Check out the website to learn more about the history, the architecture, and even the rock formations that are second to none. The website can also direct you to guided and self-guided tours, concerts, events, and camps that are offered in the park. It is a beautiful Spring Day-don’t just fly a kite. Take advantage of all Central Park has to offer- it is only a train ride away! This massive 843-acre oasis in our backyard is world famous and for good reason. It has something for everyone from history buffs to architecture aficionados to geologists to people (and dogs) just looking to run, row, or enjoy a relaxing afternoon with nature. ADVENTURES FAMILY

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theconnectionsnj.com HEALTH & WELLNESS PAGE 41 2 North Rd, Suite 3, Warren, NJ 07059 www.intrapersonalwellnessllc.com Please call or email: Irene Lebbad, MSW, LCSW 908.963.7645 Irene.lebbad@gmail.com , LLC Forgiveness is a choice we make. If we can’t let grievances go, they will always have control over us. Choosing to forgive helps release the negative energy we hold against the person that hurt us. It is not about denying someone’s unfortunate behavior that caused us pain, but acknowledging that it happened, giving up the hope that the past event could have been any different, and wishing we could have had a different outcome. The act of forgiveness represents the release from our emotional pain so we are no longer bound to the event. We can let go and move on. It doesn’t mean we have forgotten the injury or condoned what someone has done, neither does it preclude justice. It simply means we have given ourselves permission to free our spirit and let go of our bitterness. It is never a sign of weakness, but a gift we give ourselves. Sometimes it’s the people we have loved the most who cause us the most pain. With loved ones, the challenge to forgive and let go can be difficult, but it is the only means we have to overcome hate, resentment, and bitterness that can become toxic over time and poison our ability to acknowledge our own and others’ imperfections as human beings. We should also bear in mind that the people who have hurt us do not necessarily need to be in our lives any longer. Once we have made a conscious effort to release them and let the hurt go, we can move on and practice an attitude of “loving indifference”. When we forgive the world-including ourselves, a weight is lifted. We become lighter and less fearful. Try using the following inventory to help you on your forgiveness journey: 1. Write the name of every person living or deceased who has hurt you on a list. You can also write your own name on the list if you like. 2. Go down the list one name at a time. 3. Hold the image of each person in your mind and say “I forgive you and I release you. I am free and you are free”. The process may take 30 minutes or more but it will allow you to cleanse your consciousness so resentment will not continue to accumulate and poison you. Repeat as often as needed until you really feel unburdened, detached from the emotional pain, and clear of the perceived injury. Then you will be really free and can finally embrace your peace. Peacefulness and increased energy are the prizes and forgiveness is the price. Remember that forgiveness is such a powerful force because it is a direct product of love. The act of forgiving will ultimately allow each of us to not only move on with our lives, but also become a more evolved and loving version of ourselves. Contact information for Center for Intrapersonal Wellness, LLC: 2 North Road, Suite 3, Warren, NJ 07059 Irene C. Lebbad, MSW, LCSW 908-963-7645 Irene.lebbad@gmail.com On The Nature of Forgiveness “Holding a grudge is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die.” By Irene Lebbad, MSW, LCSW The act of forgiveness represents the release from our emotional pain so we are no longer bound to the event. HOTLINE HEALTH

theconnectionsnj.com HEALTH & WELLNESS PAGE 42 Mon, Wed, Fri 9:00 am-7:00 pm & Sat. 9:00 am-1:00 pm Restore Your Natural Beauty COSMETIC EYELID ENHANCEMENTS BOTOX JUVEDERM RESTYLANE RECONSTRUCTIVE EYELID SURGERY SUSAN R. CARTER, M.D. Director of Ophthalmic Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery Diplomat American Board of Ophthalmology Fellow American Society Ophthalmic Plastic & Reconstructive Surgeons Former Professor at the University of California at San Francisco With over 15 years of cosmetic and reconstructive experience 65 Mountain Blvd. Ext. Warren, NJ 07059 In the Warren Medical Center Across from the ACME CALL FOR YOUR CONSULTATION TODAY (732) 356-6200 www.The-Eye-Center.com Many of you presently have, have had, or are about to have, a child in college. Others are parents of an 18-25 year old. If you are, then you are probably familiar with the fact that it is an oxymoron to have an adult child. Are they an adult or are they a child? Legally, assuming they are 18 years old or older, they are completely, unequivocally an adult with all of the rights and privileges of adulthood. This of course, as many of you have already learned, includes precluding you, as the parent, from any and all information regarding academic, economic, medical, or legal situations your “child” may experience. The quandary is that despite their adult status, they are often still very adolescent in their judgment, work ethic, social decision-making and career decision-making. And, to exacerbate matters, they often don’t know what they don’t know. So, it is not just the disparity between their chronological age and their maturational age, they are also unaware of the gap between what they think they know, but don’t really know. As a parent, with little or no legal influence, this becomes very frustrating and the perfect storm. If you are finding yourself in that “no man’s land” as the parent of your adult child, you already know that you must tread lightly in expressing your opinions and authority. Usurping the control and setting limits has diminished in your ability to influence or even control your adult child. It is almost as if there should be a “provisional adulthood” identical to the “provisional driver’s license.” That way, they can maintain some autonomy and independence, but there would still be legal limits to their autonomy and, as a parent, you still have a semblance of authority to keep them safe and on the right path to full licensure as an adult. WHAT TO DO If you can relate to this dilemma, or even if you are about to enter the phase of parenting when you have an adult child, the following suggestions can make the process easier and more effective. • Get to know your child as an adult, think about him or her as an adult-not a child. That involves taking the time to understand and respect his or her social preferences, interests, and goals. • Although effective communication is always important with any age child, it must be done even more carefully and with more understanding with your adult child. • Stay relevant without being overly controlling. You want to maintain a strong presence in your adult child’s life without being imposing or controlling. • Shift your mindset and your parental role to be a facilitator, not a dictator. That means, you help them make decisions without telling them what to do. It means providing them with all the information and identifying all of the short-term and long-term consequences of their decisions and of how they are conducting their life. • You must respect your differences, avoiding judgment. • Instead of providing your opinion, ask questions to get them to consider factors they may not have considered. • Make sure you are not enabling dysfunctional behavior. Most adult children in this age range still have financial dependence, to some degree, on their parents. Set reasonable financial limits that hold him or her responsible for their own life. Walking that fragile tightrope of parenting an adult child can be both frustrating and worrisome. Changing your role from CEO to Consultant is the attitude adjustment you need to adopt. The goal is to find the right balance between imposing too much parental authority and too little. Communicating love and support will always go a long way. Dr. Michael Osit is a Licensed Psychologist practicing in Warren, and author of The Train Keeps Leaving Without Me: A Guide to Happiness, Freedom, and Self Fulfillment (2016), and Generation Text: Raising Well Adjusted Kids In An Age Of Instant Everything (2008). MIND THE MIND The quandary is that despite their adult status, they are often still very adolescent in their judgment, work ethic, social decision-making and career decision-making. Shift your mindset and your parental role to be a facilitator, not a dictator. That means, you help them make decisions without telling them what to do. By Dr. Michael Osit My Adult Child

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theconnectionsnj.com HEALTH & WELLNESS PAGE 46 Feeling something burning inside you? Ready to start living a life you love? 3322 Route 22 West, Suite 1207-1208, Branchburg, NJ 08876 908-218-0300 908-218-0301 (fax) www.branchburgoralsurgery.com We Accept Most Major PPO Dental Plans Karl Maloney, D.D.S. Board Certified Oral & Maxillofacial Surgeon Wisdom Teeth Dental Implants Bone Grafting General Anesthesia 3D Cone Beam CT Oral Pathology You may have a “Home is Where the Heart Is” sign hanging somewhere in your house. You have almost certainly seen it if you walk through Home Goods or a Target store. It’s a very popular, lovely phrase. The question is do we really know what it means? It became even clearer to me a few months ago while at a business retreat in Sedona, Arizona, at a beautiful Air- bnb, overlooking the red rocks, that I understood that at a deeper level. I felt really at home here, with a bunch of woman I barely knew and a few I had met for the very first time, hours earlier-cozy, comfy, safe, where I could be myself. We had an exercise where the facilitator asked, “What does “home” mean to you?” People said various things like, a place to rest my head, a safe space, a beautiful haven, and almost everyone mentioned something about love. One woman even described herself as a “nomad”. Another had moved around the world every 5 years to different locations and hasn’t been back to her original house in 28 years. And that’s the thing… It’s more than making your house warm and cozy. It’s more than having your favorite things around you. It’s more than sipping tea by your favorite window with the sunlight streaming in, or the fireplace mantle you hang your Christmas stockings on. All of this is wonderful and adds to the feeling of contentment and happiness. But let’s dig in and go a little deeper. What if all that you love about your physical home was taken away from you? What if you decided one day to fill your backpack and leave it all? What if you had no option but to move out of a physical home you loved your whole life? Would you leave your heart in the house? Or would your home come with you in your heart? Most importantly we are the creators of our own life, created with our thoughts. Everything starts inside ourselves. Any change we want to make, any miracles we pray to experience, all originate from within. Home is inside you. It is your center. It’s that inner peace and connection to a power greater than yourself, wrapped with love and the knowing that you are safe exactly where you are, exactly as you are, no matter where you are. Setting yourself up for your heart center to be the place you go to for comfort and peace gives you the freedom to know that you have access to that, no matter where you physically live or what happens in the world around you. It’s that simple and that profound. So go ahead, keep decorating, keep that cozy fire going, but know that all you need is within you now and home is right there. Rosie Battista is a Life Entrepreneur, helping women over 50 become the woman God intended them to be, uncover their long suppressed gift and get it out into the world. Visit her website to learn more: rosiebattista.com It’s that simple and that profound. So go ahead, keep decorating, keep that cozy fire going, but know that all you need is within you now and home is right there. Home is Where the Heart Is By Rosie Battista ROSIE BATTISTA

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