The Connection Warren-Watchung Edition Feb/Mar 2019

www.theconnectionsnj.com Comprehensive Gynecologic Care Call for an appointment today! Evening appointments available 908-754-5775 8 Mountain Boulevard, Warren, NJ 07059 www.drrhondasanderson.com Board Certified Obstetrics & Gynecology Affiliated with Overlook Hospital, Summit, NJ Rhonda A. Sanderson, MD., L.L.C. Adult & Adolescent Gynecology CASTLE CONNOLLY TOP DOCTORS New York Metro Area 2018 Accepting Most Insurances • Adult & Adolescent Preventative Care • HPV Vaccine • Contraception • Abnormal PAPs • Endometrial Ablation • Hysteroscopic Removal of Fibroids • Laparoscopic Hysterectomy • Hormone Replacement Therapy Now Offering Nexplanon ® There may be no gentle way to tell you this, however my goal is to wake you up (not to crush your wonderful world of Disney child- hood memories when you wished upon a star). Wishing doesn’t work. There is no time for wishy washy. After all, this is your wonderful life (no pun intended). Let’s first get clear on why wishing won’t work. It is defined as feeling or expressing a strong desire or hope for something that is not easily attainable; wanting something that cannot or probably will not happen. Why would you spend any precious time on things that “cannot or probably will not happen?” I’ll go so far as to say that wishes can actually be harmful to your health and wellbeing. Let’s do a little self reflection and start notic- i ng how many times a day you actually say “I WISH…” I “wish” I hadn’t done that. I “wish” you hadn’t done that. I “wish” I had more money. I “wish” things were easier. I “wish” I had made a different choice. I “wish” I had more time. I “wish” this project would be over already. You get the point. It’s exhausting just read- i ng it. I f we’re gonna be honest, we can consider that we are in a constant state of wishing. Anytime you’re wishing that something had been different, you’re in that crazy state. Wishes become a nice disguise for regrets from the past, for unkept promises, for unmet agreements. Those woulda, coulda, shoulda things that you can’t go back and change. Why keep them on your wish list? They take up valuable space in your head. And they make you feel bad. Wishing also assists us in avoiding things we can be doing by wasting time on things that we really have no intention of ever doing. I nstead we talk about it and complain about i t. This type of wishing is insidious and persistent. It easily traps us. It’s when we wish we could do something now or into the future, however, we really have no i ntention of doing it. Are you wishing for something that you actually have no inten- tion of doing? Suppose you are wishing you had more time to hone your skill or learn something new j ust for fun. You go around thinking, talking and feeling, “I wish I had time to do that.” “I just don’t have the time.” It’s taking up space in your head. It’s also annoying people who you complain about it to. You think about how it would be if only you could. And then you feel bad. Can you see how either way you wish it, it’s a drag on your body, your energy system, your mental state and on your capacity to move forward and create new things? There is a solution to all of this wishy washy- ness. Allow Jedi Master Yoda to smack you back to reality, “Do or don’t do.” Make a decision. Either do it or don’t do it. And if you don’t, let it go. That means stop talking about it, complaining about it, thinking about it, dreaming about it. Let’s use an example. You wish you could play the guitar. You always thought about it as a kid. You carry around that wish and the complaints that go along with it. If you real- ly got clear, stopped wishing and took action, you would make an appointment with an instructor, investigate how much time you actually did need, and access where you could fit in your lessons. Or you might decide that you actually don’t want the music lesson, but you want the experi- ence of listening to Eric Clapton or George Harrison’s genius. So you could turn on the music! Making either choice has now turned your wish into a command. Here is the part you’ve been waiting for. These are 4 simple ways to start moving for- ward in your life while creating inner peace, harmony and wellbeing. 1) Let go of wishing and start choosing. Make a decision and then affirm, announce and declare your intentions to the Universe. Most importantly integrate these intentions into your life and act accordingly. 2) Change your vocabulary and your thinking. You are not a failure for letting something go. It might sound disempower- ing but it is actually the most courageous and healthy thing you can do. The Universe is filled with expansive energy. When you accept and let go, you open up space for new inspiration to flow in. The new thing will be a better fit for you in the form of one you will actually take steps to accomplish. 3) Aim High. Reach for the stars instead of wishing upon them. If you fall short accord- ing to “your plan” you will land on the moon and that’s okay. Be okay with it. Beat- ing yourself up does not change the circum- stance or make you feel better. Instead, take away the gift you received from the lessons learned and move on. 4) Take the cake. Save the wishes for your birthday cake candle. If you really want to be a badass and take responsibility for your life, take a moment to sit with yourself. Decide what change you would like to make for your new birthday year. Set your inten- tion over that candle. Then decide what your first step would be and step into it. Rosie Battista , Sleeping Naked After 40, is a Life Coach teaching and sharing self-love youtensils and spiritual essentials for becoming the best ver- sion of yourself. Email rosie.battista@gmail.com or follow her on instagram@rosie.battista WISHING DOESN’T WORK By: Rosie Battista SUSAN R. CARTER, M.D. Director of Ophthalmic Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery Diplomat American Board of Ophthalmology Fellow American Society Ophthalmic Plastic & Reconstructive Surgeons Former Professor at the University of California at San Francisco With over 15 years of cosmetic and reconstructive experience Restore Your Natural Beauty 65 Mountain Blvd. Ext. Warren, NJ 07059 In the Warren Medical Center Across from the ACME COSMETIC EYELID ENHANCEMENTS BOTOX JUVEDERM RESTYLANE RECONSTRUCTIVE EYELID SURGERY LIKE us on Facebook CALL FOR YOUR CONSULTATION TODAY (732) 356-6200 www.The-Eye-Center.com PAGE 32