theconnectionsnj.com SENIOR LIVING PAGE 36 Chatham Hills Subacute Care Center provides unprecedented levels of genuine care and customer service for our community’s Rehabilitation and Nursing needs, in a soothing, tranquil and state-of-the-art environment. 973-822-1500 chathamhillssubacute.com 415 Southern Blvd., Chatham, NJ 07928 SPECIALITY PROGRAMS: • ORTHOPEDIC REHABILITATION • SHORT TERM REHABILITATION • AMPUTEE CARE • LONG TERM CARE • RESPITE CARE • RECREATION The demands on caregivers are enormous-particularly when the patient is a family member or dear friend. For many, suddenly they are drafted into a position where there is no preparation, no training, and no ability to set boundaries or say “no” when too much is expected of them. I have seen this countless times and recognize that wanting to care for someone isn’t the same as being able or even capable of so doing. As society ages, more and more is expected from a support system. Hospitals and rehab facilities as well as sub-acute nursing homes are understaffed and unable to provide what was considered bare minimal care. Suddenly, spouses, children, and siblings are called upon to do everything for the patient short of charting the meds. Cleaning the room, doing IV infusions at home, and reporting important information are now expected. The guilt is enormous for those unable to keep it together. Setting boundaries may be the key to being successful when a loved one is in extremis. Perhaps the caregiver must let the medical center or facility personnel know of physical or emotional limitations; the caregiver may need to bring along their own source of support; asking for a social worker or patient advocate to provide guidance may be a window into these limitations caregivers frequently feel. Loving a parent, spouse, sibling or child doesn’t mean one is comfortable or even capable of all that may be expected. Post-hospitalization may be a roller coaster for a period of time. The feelings of elation when the patient is released may soon morph into the reality that much aftercare is required. That will hopefully be ameliorated by skilled visiting nurses, physical and occupational therapy, and speech therapy. But if more is required, speaking up-and loudly-may be necessary. In that case, reaching out to the physician, their assistant, or office manager to navigate the return home may be an important tool to assist in recovery. Please remember that although much is expected of caregivers, we can say we need more help. Say it loudly and proudly because your goal is to support the one you love…and that is what this time of life is all about! The feelings of elation when the patient is released may soon morph into the reality that much aftercare is required. SENIOR CORNER Caregivers May Need Care Themselves By Ellyn Mantell
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