The Connections Warren Watchung Edition June July August 2021

theconnectionsnj.com SENIOR LIVING PAGE 54 Senior Living At Its Best All the conveniences life offers on a Resort Style Life Plan Community 877-758-2115 ways to live an inspired life. A vibrant destination community, with world class amenities and a state-of-the-art health center. We have been welcoming seniors eager to start the next chapter of their lives, without compromising on the high quality lifestyle you are accustomed to. Fellowship Village offers multiple 5- Star dining options, including our new Indoor/Outdoor Tapas Bar and Lounge. A Cultural Arts Center designed to bring you theater, opera, and various forms of live entertainment, all on a vibrant 72 acre campus where you can Live Your Best Life! And Fellowship offers a full continuum of onsite services to give you the peace of mind you can age in place. Offering an abundance of choices! 8000 Fellowship Road Basking Ridge, NJ 07920 FellowshipSeniorLiving.org The unsung hero in any patient’s re- turn to normalcy is the caregiver. These are the ones who are on the frontline as the patient adjusts to changes in his or her life. Patients are often unable to ex- press their fears, including worry about future health, anxiety about dealing with the medical community, nances, and concern about physical challenges. I frequently speak with patients who are facing these new or repeti- tive challenges as they source support of all types. My primary goal is to es- tablish who will be the point person in certain situations, and what that will look like. For example, if a pa- tient has three children who want to be involved in their care, who will be the “hands-on” person assisting with meals and dressing, getting Mom or Dad to medical appointments? Who will handle the finances? Who will make the arrangements for the Visit- ing Nurse, someone to clean, do the food shopping? My mother, the el- dest of five children, always told me that “one mother could take care of five children, but five children cannot take care of one mother.” I will not ar- gue that point! Caregivers may also be tasked with emotional support, as any medical chal- lenges, including the aging process, takes its toll on the psyche. Depression is greater as con dence is lessened, which occurs as frustration over the in- ability to do the same tasks, increases. A caregiver who is aware of the losses felt, and is open to providing this emotional support will probably see the bene t in raised spirits, rather than a downward spiral of anger. Adjustment of any kind takes work, sup- port, patience and positive thinking, and all of that may feel overwhelming to both the patient and caregiver. These areas, how- ever, are where the positive shift occurs. Our caregivers can accelerate adjustments by opening their minds and hearts to the emotions experienced by the patient; ac- tively listening to the medical community at appointments; educating themselves as best they can to the causation of the prob- lem; learning how to advocate for Mom or Dad. What they did for us was as natural to them as breathing, and at this time in their lives, nothing would give most of them more comfort than to be able to continue to care for themselves. If, however, they need us to be there to care for them, that is the place we absolutely need to be…for them, and for ourselves. My mother, the eldest of ve children, always told me that “one mother could take care of ve children, but ve children cannot take care of one mother.” I will not argue that point! What they did for us was as natural to them as breathing, and at this time in their lives, nothing would give most of them more comfort than to be able to continue to care for themselves. If, however, they need us to be there to care for them, that is the place we absolutely need to be…for them, and for ourselves. by Ellyn Mantell THE BENEFIT OF CAREGIVERS EVEN GREATER FOR SENIORS S C