The Connection Bernards-Ridge Edition Dec 2018/Jan 2019

www.theconnectionsnj.com Janet M. Neigel, MD. FACS Michael Richard, MD 254 Columbia Turnpike, Suite 200, Florham Park, NJ 973-410-1100 www.eyelid.com Be Fabulous at Any AGE Facial Surgery S-Lift (Facelift) Eyelid Surgery Neck Treatments Mohs Repair Surgery Eyelid Reconstruction Anti-Aging Aesthetics Treatment Botox/Dysport Restylane/Voluma Sculptra/Kybella Silhouette InstaLift SaltFacial Therapy RF MicroNeedling PRP/Hair Restoration Fat Transfer/Dermaplaning Chemical Peels/Lasers Medical Grade Skin Care Let the Neigel Center Help You Achieve Beautiful Skin for Life With this ad. New Patients Only. Surgery not included. Not to be combined with other offers. Valid Nov. 20 - Dec. 31. I want to share with my readers two sig- nificant scenarios. The first involves a ten year old adolescent coming home from school, crying inconsolably and dis- traught because his best friend aban- doned him and joined a group who was taunting him. The second concerns a fourteen year old teenager who attempt- ed to commit suicide because of internet lies, defaming her by her thoughtless classmates. Lets examine the two scenarios above. In both situations, the children were emo- tionally traumatized, having been accost- ed by fellow classmates, and not having the knowledge of how to respond, both emotionally and physically. These events are experienced more often than we can imagine. Parents should encourage their children to be proud of who they are and to attempt to recognize whatever feelings of insecurity their child may exhibit. Importantly, a parent should try to strengthen the children's weaknesses and encourage them to improve whatev- er attributes need to be altered for their well being. In some cases, professional help may be needed. The family should have scheduled meetings of approximately thirty min- utes every month. Additional meetings can be held if warranted. The main pur- pose of these gatherings is to discuss present and potential problems. Any topic can be raised and all family mem- bers are encouraged to give their opin- ions. These meeting will also encourage family bonding and unity. The discussions should be very light in depth and in good humor, and yet be informative and instructive to the child. The parent must allow children to express their own opinions, but tactfully guide the conversations so that the desired conclusions are drawn. Some topics may be brought up because of an incident that may have involved a family member or another individual, such as the exam- ples listed above or perhaps stimulated by an article in a current newspaper or magazine. Major topics should include drug addiction, bullying, mental and physical abuse, discrimination and inter- net etiquette and should be reinforced many times over the years. During the meetings, children will gain the knowledge of what potential calami- ties might lie ahead and have an idea of how to handle them. When is the best time in children's lives to discuss these issues? Life management skills are taught from the moment the child is born. How- ever, the optimal time to teach skills to avoid possible major calamities in life is between the ages of six and ten. A rebel- lious adolescent may not be receptive to partake in family affairs. Revealing the events of an unpleasant experience with a parent is very impor- tant. Feelings of shame on the part of the child should be encouraged not to be a hurdle to discuss the happenings with a parent alone or in a family meeting. A future article on Friend and Foes for THE CONNECTION, addressing these issues is planned. Parents and educators are encouraged to obtain a free manual of PREVENTING DRUG ABUSE AND OTHER CALAMITIES, a new approach to Parenting. This book will help the family to present and discuss important life management skills. For those who prefer a hard copy, instruct a printer of the pages desired, as num- bered in the electronic manual. In conclusion, family meetings are important adjuncts to protect your chil- dren against drug abuse and other calamities and will give them the strength and knowledge of how to han- dle potential dangers. Email your opin- ions, questions or book requests to RewardingLifeInc@gmail.com. THE FAMILY MEETING By: Melvin S. Rosh, MD FAAP PAGE 74