The Connection Bernards-Ridge Edition January February 2015

PAGE 38 THE BERNARDS-RIDGE CONNECTION FEB/MARCH 2015 Let us deliver our Magazine to your “IN BOX” as well as your MAILBOX by scanning this code with your smart phone 908-903-1799 Fax 732-667-8488 The Connection Magazines PO Box 4081 • Warren Fax 732-667-8488 www.theconnectionsnj.com email: Connectionsnj@gmail.com Visit our Connection On-Line ad to view our video The CONNECTIONS Sometimes, I Feel Invisible… By: Ellyn Mantell I know it has to do with my age…women in our “middle years” (okay, not middle, perhaps “later” has more veracity) seem to fade into the background. I often wonder why people do not engage us or ask our opinion as they did when we were younger, fresher, more “happening!” There once was a time when graceful aging was a badge of honor. And I was hoping that at this stage of my life, I would feel appreciated for the knowl- edge that comes with ongoing years. I so hoped that young women, in par- ticular, would want to be mentored, even educated, by me and my peers…sought out for our wisdom, that our experiences would be considered note-worthy and interesting. However, this world in which we find ourselves, moves so quickly, and our “throw-away society” deems us to have less value than any era before us. Yes, to our family and friends, we are special, bright individuals, worthy of all we desire and deserve…but enter a restaurant in a group of “the salt-and-pepper generation” and watch what happens… The gorgeous young server announces his or her name, telling us he/she will take care of us at that meal, and asks for our beverages. We are not going to be ordering glasses of beer throughout the meal, or more than one of the most unique, most happening (expensive) of the mixed drinks of the young. More than likely, we will find a “bring your own” since our meals are not about the bonding over alcohol. How can we? Most of us take too much medication to do that! And then the server will offer the menu, which will work for the hip diner, but for us, we will “modify it” to ameliorate being “up all night” because of too much spice, a special diet, or the like. Specials are rattled off and the noise level from the restaurant patrons can break the sound barrier. So we ask our server to repeat herself. Then, perhaps with eyes rolling just a smidge, said wait person will venture to take our order to the kitchen…oh, dear. Or, as happened recently, I was with two of my granddolls, ages 9 and 6, and needed to have my phone adjusted. We went to the local Verizon store, and wandering as we were awaiting assistance, my grands pointed out all the phones and electronics they couldn’t wait to own. When it was my turn to ask questions of the staffer, something inconceivable happened…before my eyes. Rather quickly, he was speaking to my 9 year-old granddaughter, since his correct supposition was that she understands his language, and I don’t. But I still don’t want to be invisible! Hopefully you realize this is being written tongue-in-cheek. But I do feel very strongly that it is beyond disappointing for young people to think of those of us “experienced”, as useless. We are still contributing so much to the world. Many of us are working, or volunteering; we are involved with our families, nurturing and supportive; we are part of an economic structure, spending dollars which are keys to jobs of the young. We are smart because the com- bination of time and life has made us that way. We are talented, we have learned how to make things happen. We are many, and by that very fact, we have impact in every strata of society. Please feel free to reach out to us, as we have reached out to previous generations; we are eager to be of counsel to you. No, we are no longer young, and in truth, the young will eventually no longer be young. Youth may, in fact, be wasted on the young, but please don’t even think of wasting us…we are not invisible, we are shining examples of the best of the baby boomers…so look into our eyes, and trust me on this, you will see not just some fine lines and wrinkles, you will see a lifetime of growth and knowledge, and oh, yes, pride! www.theconnectionsnj.com