The Connection Bridgewater-Somerville Edition Sept/Oct/Nov 2018

SEPT/OCT/NOV 2018 THE BRIDGEWATER-SOMERVILLE CONNECTION PAGE 53 GEBHARDT & KIEFER, PC 1318 Route 31 P.O. Box 4001 Clinton, NJ 08809 908-735-5161 www.gklegal.com By: Diana N. Fredericks, Esq. Diana N. Fredericks, Esq. Many parents want to include a “right of first refusal” provision in their custody and parenting time or marital settlement agreements. Such a clause requires a parent to contact the other parent if they are going to be unavailable to the children for a certain period. This requires the par- ent to do so before contacting a third party to watch the children. By way of example only, an agree- ment could provide, “If either Hus- band or Wife are unavailable for a period of four (4) hours or more, they shall contact the other parent to offer that parent the right to have that time with the children before contacting a third party to care for the children.” This may seem like a good idea, and perhaps in some cases it can be, but it can also backfire and create a level of acrimony and litigation nei- ther parent anticipated. What time period should be used if you are going to include a right of first refusal in an agreement? This will depend in part on the ages of children, what is appropriate for them, their maturity level, etc., but it also will depend on the relationship of the parents. Do you want to have to call your ex-spouse every time you leave your children for a few hours? That can create a lot of issues with control. How do you balance the need for both parents to have con- tinuing contact with the children and the need for each parent, post- divorce, to have some semblance of freedom? Do you want your parent- ing time to be your time without hav- ing to notify the other parent? If your agreement has a two- or four-hour right of first refusal provi- sion, you could be required to notify your spouse of a dinner date with friends or a new romantic interest. It could even be something as simple as grocery shopping and errands. In my experience, that is not what par- ents intend when they agree to these type of provisions, but that is the reality of their implementation. What about family time or grand- parents’ time with children? Should they be considered third parties, requiring you to notify the other parent? Some agreements, particularly where parents have occupations that require travel, have provisions related to same or reference the right of first refusal regarding overnight travel. There are endless possibilities. However, it is important to realize that something that may seem benign, such as saying “if I don’t have the kids, you will,” can lead to very significant and unintended con- sequences. A right of first refusal arrange- ment depends on a very high level of mutual respect and cooperation. If mutual respect and cooperation do not exist, particularly post-divorce, imposing an arrangement such as a right of first refusal will likely worsen an already contentious co-parenting arrangement. 1 ___________________________________ 1 Ferrer v. Durkin, Docket No. A-2122-15T1, unpublished decision April 10, 2017 The Right of First Refusal for Parenting Time… a Blessing or a Curse? ‡ Estate Planning & Probate ‡ Estate & Trust Administration ‡ Elder Law & Living Wills ‡ Contested Estate Litigation ‡ Special Needs Trusts ‡ General Durable Powers of Attorney ‡ Divorce Litigation ‡ Collaborative Divorce ‡ Mediation & Arbitration ‡ Alimony & Child Support ‡ Custody & Parenting Time ‡ Domestic Violence Experienced & Certified Matrimonial Attorneys William J. Rudnik, William W. Goodwin, Diana N. Fredericks Daniel S. Makoski, John G. Manfreda, Lori K. MacWilliam, Mark H. Chazin Experienced Estate Planning Attorneys ‡ Labor & Employment Litigation ‡ Wrongful Discharge & Retaliation ‡ Harassment & Discrimination ‡ Employment Contracts & Severance ‡ Employee Manuals ‡ Workplace Training Seminars Experienced Employment Attorneys Leslie A. Parikh, Matthew P. Lyons, Tracy B. Bussel Providing skilled legal services to the residents and businesses of Central NJ since 1884. 908-735-5161 1318 Route 31 P.O. Box 4001 Clinton, NJ 08809 www.gklegal.com As a full-service law firm, we also have attorneys with expertise handling Personal Injury, Business Contracts, Tax Planning & IRS Tax Disputes, Real Estate, Traffic Court/DWI, and Municipal Law. Call us today for a consultation! www.theconnectionsnj.com