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THE WARREN-WATCHUNG CONNECTION
NOVEMBER 2013
1645
Route 22 at Terrill Road
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Watchung, NJ 07069
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www.mountsaintmary.org
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908.757.0108
ext. 4506
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Clients are often misguided as to their
rights and obligations in a divorce and,
because of this, their expectations are often
unrealistic. Frequently, clients will tell me
what they believe the law to be, only for
me to have to educate them otherwise.
Some of the most common misperceptions
I hear are:
MYTH:
My spouse left me and I need to
file immediately for a legal separation.
TRUTH:
In New Jersey, there is no such
thing. We do have a cause of action (or
grounds for divorce) based on 18 consecu-
tive months of separation. This is a basis for
a divorce – not a basis for a legal separa-
tion. While some parties may have the
financial means to live separate and apart
during their divorce process, the marriage
remains intact as do the obligations of the
parties as a married couple. Further, since
we have irreconcilable differences as
grounds for divorce, nearly 99.9% of the
divorces I handle are put through under the
grounds of irreconcilable differences, and
the 18 month separation cause of action is
not so often used.
MYTH:
My spouse abandoned me. I want
consequences for this abandonment.
TRUTH:
There are really no legal conse-
quences for such “abandonment.” Where
this does become important is if custody
and parenting time are in issue. If a parent
abandoned his/her spouse and child(ren),
this will have implications in a custody and
parenting time determination. I often coun-
sel my clients that they are not to leave the
marital residence unless and until custody
and parenting time issues are resolved.
MYTH:
It does not matter who my spouse
hires as an attorney; we want an amicable
divorce.
TRUTH:
Unfortunately, it does matter.
Some attorneys are resolution-oriented;
some are not. If you and your spouse seek
resolution, you need a resolution-oriented
attorney. Now, this does not mean one
who cannot protect you and advocate for
you. It means one who respects your desire
for an amicable resolution while advising
you of your rights.
The fact of the matter is that clients can get
divorced as soon as an agreement has been
reached between them. They are in sole
control of their fate and hold the time of
the resolution of all of their issues in their
own hands.
MYTH:
My spouse is at fault and, there-
fore, must pay extra.
TRUTH:
Unfortunately, for the most part,
fault does not matter. In some extremely
egregious situations, it may, but these situ-
ations are certainly a rare, if ever, exception
to the rule.
MYTH:
My child has turned 18 years old,
so now I do not have to pay child support
anymore.
TRUTH:
Emancipation does not automati-
cally occur at 18 years of age. It may or it
may not. The analysis in deciding if a child
is emancipated is whether or not the child
is outside the “sphere of influence” of their
parents, or if they are self-sufficient. For
example, children attending college full-
time are not emancipated. Special needs
children may never become emancipated.
When a child becomes emancipated is a
fact-sensitive analysis.
MYTH:
Common law marriages exist in
New Jersey.
TRUTH:
They do not. Clients often think
that if they are living together for an
extended period of time, they become
common law husband and wife. They do
not. There may be a palimony issue arising
out of contractual obligations and promis-
es, but there is no marriage.
I hope the above is helpful in dispelling and
correcting some common misperceptions
of divorce law.
DISPELLING DIVORCE LAW MYTHS
By: Jeralyn L. Lawrence, Esq., Norris McLaughlin & Marcus, P.A.
www.theconnectionsnj.com