By Eric Solotoff, Fox Rothschild
Everyone is entitled to their day in court, but what if nothing can be gained by going before a judge? What if you can’t win? What if a trial will cost tens of thousands of dollars or more?
In many divorce cases, reaching a settlement is your best option, but you must be prepared to be reasonable. With that in mind, here is a tongue-in-cheek list of ten things you should do if your goal is to ruin any chance of a settlement.
In other words, IN NO WAY SHOULD YOU DO ANY OF THE FOLLOWING THINGS:
- Ignore your experts’ advice. What do they know about the value of your business or how a judge will assess your total income/cash flow? What does an accountant know about taxes, or how the IRS may address the creative accounting practices you or your business have employed? What does the custody expert really know?
- Ignore your lawyer’s advice. What do they know? If your lawyer tells you to take the deal on the table because it’s a huge win, disregard it. If they tell you that you may be forced to pay your spouse’s legal fees, roll the dice. If your attorney says they are willing to try your case, but you should consider settlement because it will be more cost-effective, don’t believe it. What does your lawyer know about the law or the judge?
- Ignore the facts of your case. Trust your ability to spin the facts in a way that doesn’t make sense. Plus, how can they prove you’re lying?
- Ignore what the neutrals are saying. What do the Early Settlement Panelists know? What does the mediator know? When the judge has a settlement conference and gives directions, what do they know? Assume that people who have no “horse in the race” are aligned with your spouse or their attorney, have been bought off, or are just plain ignorant.
- Ignore the law. It doesn’t apply to you anyway.
- Misrepresent things. Do this even when the other side has documents to disprove virtually everything you are saying.
- Try to bully your spouse. Believe that the imbalance of power that existed during the marriage will allow you to bully your spouse into an unfair settlement. Assume that your spouse’s attorney won’t protect them.
- Take the position that you would rather pay your lawyer than your spouse. Ignore the fact that this tactic usually ends with you paying both.
- Pretend your spouse never spent a second with the kids. Believe s/he has no right to do so in the future. Make false allegations of neglect or abuse. Ignore research that says that it is typically in the children’s best interests to spend as much time as possible with each parent. What do the “experts” know about your kids? While you are at it, bad mouth your spouse to or in front of the kids.
- Take totally unreasonable positions. Implement any or all of the above tactics. On top of that, negotiate backwards. Put deals on the table, and then reduce what you are offering. Negotiate in bad faith.
In all seriousness, reaching a divorce settlement can be difficult even with a great attorney and a reasonable approach. Don’t make it harder by falling into any of these ten traps.
For more information on these and other questions regarding divorce in New Jersey, contact Morristown-based Fox Rothschild Family Law attorneys Eric Solotoff at esolotoff@foxrothschild.com or (973) 994-7501; or Sandra Fava at sfava@foxrothschild.com or (973) 994-7564.
