By Jane Cooperman
Recently I discovered something wonderful. My life was a roller coaster, for reasons completely outside my control. Yet, I felt happy and even peaceful. I saw the roller coaster whizzing by, but I DIDN’T GET ON IT. This discovery thrilled me. My life is no longer run by my emotions, my fears or anxieties. I found the “me” inside me-my inner self, that self is at ease and peaceful in this world. I worked hard to get to this place. That included past years of therapy, recent years of yoga, and learning about and practicing meditation, mindfulness, gratitude, and all those things that quiet the mind so I could find out who I was inside.
Think about life transitions – marriage, divorce or widowhood, empty nest, and retirement. These are times that are stressful and challenging because they require you to re-define who you are. You used to be a carefree, fun-loving, college student, and suddenly you are a husband, a wife, a parent. You are a husband or wife, and suddenly you are alone and don’t recognize your life. Your children have left the roost, and now your nest feels lonely and you feel lost. Or you were a successful business person, an executive, a scientist, a nurse, or a teacher. You retired and can fill your time with activity, but you’re not satisfied because you do not know your purpose. All those personas that we wear are temporary, as our inner selves are waiting for us to recognize them.
This is no one’s fault, it’s how we live. The examples above – all of them – applied to me. The path to finding who we are and what is our purpose can be different for everyone. I lived my life in my own way, riding the coaster at times. There was a lot of trial and error. At least I can say I kept moving toward growth, but I had no idea what my purpose was and wasn’t concerned with that, because I had so many responsibilities to attend to and activities to enjoy. I was spinning in all directions and not grounded.
Getting off the roller coaster is both difficult and easy. Something has to prompt you to seek your purpose or your inner self. It requires commitment. Then you have to be open to recognizing your inner self or the right path when you see it. Serendipity can move you along. For many people, including myself, the COVID years were an impetus.
Here are the things that most helped me to find my inner, peaceful self. Try one if you like:
- Daily yoga practice with teachers who embody the philosophy as well as the asanas of yoga
- Meditation
- Mindfulness as a usual state (gets easier with practice)
- Sound healing
- Spending time with like-minded people
- Letting go
- Practicing acceptance, replacing judgment with curiosity
- Journaling and weekly writing exercises
Your own purpose will reveal itself to you when you are open to seeing it. I don’t know the recipe that will work for you. It may require you to quiet your mind and be with yourself in that quiet. If you are searching, experiment. “Do-overs” are allowed, even encouraged. It is an amazing journey. Bon voyage!
Jane Cooperman is a Health and Wellness Coach, trained by the Mayo Clinic & Registered Nurse. To learn more, visit her website: janecoopermanwellness.com or call/text her at 201-240-4735.
