Dr. Michael Osit
I was recently asked to provide an inspirational quote to a high school graduating class in Maryland. I reflected on the past year and decided to use it as a learning experience for the future.
“It used to be that if you walked into a bank wearing a mask you would be arrested. Today, if you walk into a bank without a mask you will be asked to leave. Go forth into the future knowing that you will need to adapt, shift, and change to facilitate your own growth, success, and for the good of your community.”
Living in the pandemic has created a world that is markedly different from the one with which we are familiar. We had very little, or no choice, but to change our daily routines, behavior, and social interactions. For those who successfully and emotionally surrendered to the Covid World mandates, life was compromised but tolerable. If you did not accept the changes in lifestyle, routines, and cultural norms, most likely you have been angry, bored, or even depressed. Critical to the successful coping with the pandemic changes and limitations on our lives has been the ability to adapt, shift, and make changes.
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If you follow my column, you know that I often use sports (and food) as metaphors for life. So, if you were coaching a football team you probably have a game plan when facing an opponent. The plan for a successful win will undoubtedly capitalize on your team’s strengths and accentuate the opponent’s weaknesses. But if that plan is not working, you have to make adjustments or even complete changes at halftime. You explain to your players the adjustments and changes needing to be implemented, even if it is completely contrary to your original plan. Your team must make adjustments on both offense and defense and play within the new parameters as a result of what you learned during the first half of the game.
As clearly experienced during the pandemic, our life game plan had to be adjusted, shifted, and even changed due to the limitations and parameters imposed on us. Ask any graduating high school senior or entering college freshman. Unexpected and unwanted changes in life are not only applied to life in the pandemic. Changes in life may not always be as dramatic as they have been in the past year, but there will always be changes. When change occurs, you must adjust, shift, or make sweeping modifications. This applies not only to major life implications and decisions, but to specific situations, problems, and decision-making.
Most people prefer consistency. It is predictable and makes you feel comfortable. Change brings on the unknown and unfamiliar, often resulting in anxiety, discomfort, and unwillingness to change in an attempt to keep things the same. The “same” is not always an option. Often, change is imposed on us. Sometimes self-imposed change is positive for growth, happiness, and success. In either case, change means that you may have to give up what you are most comfortable with.
It is important to step back and try to objectively evaluate how you need to change based on what is being presented to you. When you are too close to a situation, it is often difficult to see clearly. Then, it is often difficult to realize you need to make a change. It can be a career change or a relationship change, or a change in your routine. Making regular adjustments, shifting, and changing aspects of your life can lead to much happiness and success. And, it can derail depression and boredom. The need to make changes voluntarily, and adjust to changes imposed on you, will be present throughout your life. It is like playing a football game that lasts forever. Fortunately, you can take as many halftimes as you wish to adjust your game plan.
Dr. Michael Osit is a Licensed Psychologist practicing in Warren, and author of The Train Keeps Leaving Without Me: A Guide to Happiness, Freedom, and Self Fulfillment (2016), and Generation Text: Raising Well Adjusted Kids In An Age Of Instant Everything (2008).