It has been quite a ride these past 6 months, to say the least. More like a roller coaster ride with varying speeds, surprising turns, deep stomach drops, and loop de loops that make your head spin. In fact, that ride may be the closest you get to ride an actual roller coaster for quite some time. But how do you decide whether or not you should go to an amusement park, socialize with friends, golf, go to restaurants, get your hair cut, and so on? With all the media attention, fears, and inconsistent information it has become so difficult to make decisions about what you and your family members feel comfortable doing outside of your home bubble.
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The pandemic has created anxiety and fear in many of us, as we listen to the media and learn about friends and loved ones who have had a difficult time after contracting COVID-19, and of course, have had loved ones lose their life to the virus. Additionally, sheltering at home has magnified social and emotional issues in many. For many of my patients and those in my personal life, social isolation and the inability to conduct our lives, even conducting our most routine activities, has created depression in some and exacerbated depression in those already depressed. Coping with the pandemic has not been easy. A great strategy to cope with any stressor occurring in your life is to take control over what you can, surrender and don’t focus on what you cannot control, and then develop a plan to make the best of the situation or to create the most optimal outcome. That coping strategy cannot be utilized with the pandemic. One of the most frustrating issues is that the virus controls us, we cannot control the virus or how it afflicts us. We can only control what happens in our little virus-safe bubble. But that is very limiting. If that isn’t enough, we cannot even make plans because of the unknown factors the virus brings. Not for next week, next month, or even next year. Our lives are on pause and family holidays, social gatherings, attending sporting events, planning weddings and religious milestone celebrations, birthday parties, graduations, proms, business events, and anything else you can think of must be postponed or canceled. That ambiguity makes it all the more difficult to effectively cope with this situation.
Now that the world is opening up, slowly and gradually, a whole new set of anxieties and fears emerge. And a whole new set of conflicts regarding your decisions as to what you will do and what you will not do outside of your safety zone. Many of my patients have asked me my thoughts about whether or not they should engage in a specific activity as they contemplate venturing out into the world again. Of course, I do not tell them what to do but I have equipped them with a 3-fold problem-solving process that seems to facilitate decision making for them.
My book, The Train Keeps Leaving Without Me, is based on the number “3” in that every chapter has 3 components necessary in the pursuit of happiness. It is interesting that I, once again, find a 3-prong approach in helping people decide which activities to engage in. In considering if you should or should not do an activity the following questions need to be considered.
- How anxious does it make you feel to do it?
- How important is it, in the scope of your life, to do it?
- Understanding that you cannot eliminate risk, only minimize it, how safe can you be, taking COVID precautions, if you do it?
Contemplating and evaluating all 3 questions will undoubtedly help you make your decision. But when all is said and done, you must also consider the level of risk you place family members in when you return home. So, let’s all live life, staying as safe and healthy as we can.
Dr. Michael Osit is a Licensed Psychologist practicing in Warren, and author of The Train Keeps Leaving Without Me: A Guide to Happiness, Freedom, and Self Fulfillment (2016), and Generation Text: Raising Well Adjusted Kids In An Age Of Instant Everything (2008).