Melvin S. Rosh, MD, FAAP, FAAAAI, FCAAAI
No parent wants to learn that their child is addicted to drugs, but millions find themselves in this terrible position. No parent wants their child to be a victim of discrimination, bullying, child abuse, sexual harassment or other dangerous situations. Every parent must ask themselves, “What can I do to protect my children from harmful circumstances that may possibly arise in the future?”
Parents must equip their children with the necessary information and skills to be able to handle most conditions that might occur. For example, if tempted by peers to take an addicting substance, children must have the courage to say, “NO DRUGS FOR ME!” . Presently, emphasis is on treatment of addicted individuals and millions of dollars are spent yearly to try and eradicate the addiction. Would it not be far better and more appropriate to institute measures that will prevent chemical dependency?
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Spending quality time by parents with their children has been shown to be very important. Many parents are overloaded because of work and household commitments. However, dedicated time between parent and child must be put aside for all the children in the family. The infant and toddler should be exposed to lullabies, fairy tales, and stories of family members. The parent must be patient and the atmosphere of their get-together should be non-threatening and enjoyable. As verbalization develops, encouragement of the child to give a simple analysis of what was presented should follow. For example, after telling the fable of the “Three Little Pigs”, ask the child, “What was the story about? What materials would you use to build a house and why?”
After the age of six, important life management skills should be introduced; such as how and why addicting drugs should be avoided; how to manage relationships between friends; how to handle discrimination and prejudice; what to do when bullied or sexually threatened, etc. The information should be repeated often and reinforced as the child matures. Some parents as well as children may feel uncomfortable talking about some topics, such as sex education; however, these discussions can be tabled to a time when children are older, but not avoided.
The younger the child, the easier it is to convey the necessary feelings and attitudes about a particular subject. Six to eleven is an ideal age to discuss most topics. Upon reaching adolescence, some children may be less prone to having in-depth discussions with the parents, especially if the teens are rebellious.
Ideally, after children reach six years of age, all members of the family should meet together in a “Monthly Family Meeting”, not unlike a board meeting of a corporation. The meeting can be done at a meal, during which all members of the family are present.
The purpose of the monthly meeting is to discuss important topics that are of a concern to all family members. Importantly, all attendees are encouraged to express their opinions. The parent or leader of the group should direct the discussions so that optimal solutions are concluded; however, the children should be the main contributors.
The first part of the meeting discusses family events that occurred since the last time that the group met. Perhaps, one of the family members was bullied or perhaps dad bought a new car. The remaining time should consider other important topics vicariously, such as discrimination, prejudice, etc. An article in a magazine or local paper may stimulate a discussion.The meeting need not last longer than 30 to 45 minutes. A very important by-product of the monthly meeting is strong bonding between participants. Members should learn to respect the opinions of all and discuss amicably if they feel their solutions are more appropriate.
“PREPARING CHILDREN for the FUTURE” is a manual which can be used to guide the discussion of important topics, as it acts as a catalyst to engage in a wide variety of subjects. Vicariously, the child will understand what dangers might be encountered in the future, and be given the tools and knowledge of how to handle many threatening and non-threatening situations. A sentence, paragraph or chapter may be recited, after which the participants are encouraged to dissect the material in question, give opinions and arrive at logical conclusions. The manual need not be read like a novel. Topics can be discussed out of order as participants desire or as situations arise. A Table of Contents as well as a Suggested Curriculum are included in the book.
A free e-mail version can be obtained by requesting a copy on the email address of RewardingLifeInc@yahoo.com. Fowarding the e-book to relatives and friends is encouraged. A hard copy is available on the Amazon.com website under the title, “Preparing Children for the Future”.
If giving important life-saving information to our children saves anyone from addiction, physical and sexual abuse, discrimination, bullying and decreases the number of teenage pregnancies and divorces, then the art of parenting will have taken an important step forward and will place children on the path of avoiding future dangerous situations and achieving a successful and rewarding life.
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“Dr. Mel” is a Pediatrician who has always championed the needs of children and represents a non-profit corporation, Rewarding Life, Inc., whose mission is to instruct children how to avoid harm’s way. He is a graduate of Cornell–Weill Medical School. He practiced Pediatrics for over fifty years and is the author of medical and lay articles, the latter under the by-line, “ASK DR. MEL”. Rewarding Life Inc.,a non-profit 501(c)(3)) corporation supplies free teaching materials to schools, drug rehabilitation centers, correctional facilities and other non-profit organizations.
Comments and queries should be addressed to RewardingLifeInc@yahoo.com.