By Ellyn Mantell
Perhaps never in our lives, it is as important to socialize as when we are in our later years. That may seem a bold statement, but I believe it is true for many reasons. Loneliness and solitude lead to depression, loss of appetite and weight loss, and a generalized feeling of despair.
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When we are very young, our entire world is our family. Our parents and siblings provide all we need, and that continues until we enter a childcare community. In today’s world, most likely, that is daycare, preschool, or a group babysitting situation. From there, we enter school, and our social needs are met for decades. Today’s young adults may spend close to another decade on their education before entering the work world and may do so having amassed an incredible number of personal contacts with whom they have interacted.
Our careers typically involve socializing, even if we are working remotely, as so many are doing in the Covid-era. Zoom meetings, conference calls, work lunches all involve some sort of social interaction. Even as we lament this time and we feel like it is taking us away from a “never-ending attempt to finish our work, it is still social involvement, which many find nourishing.
Raising a family is perhaps the most social time of life for many. Our children are our social conduits, introducing us to many of our contacts. Arrange a playdate for one’s daughter, and it involves social interaction. Plan to carpool to baseball practice and more social interaction. Granted, texting and emailing takes the place of a true conversation, but there is social interaction, and one knows someone is at the other end of the message. Those incredibly busy and demanding years seem endless, and it feels as if we will never slow down and then…
Suddenly, we are seniors, and unless we go out of our way to interact with others, it can be a very lonely existence. In our personal experience, our very social Mom (my Mom-in-law) was living in a beautiful apartment by herself after our Dad died.
Her voice was still perky, but she was losing weight, less aware of her schedule, just not “herself.” When we moved her to Chelsea at Warren, we saw a change for the better, even if it took her a while to see it herself. From the beginning, she began to play cards, join in Happy Hour, look forward to meals, participate in various activities. She wanted to be a part of things, be with people, and share, as she had always done. It is my belief that all this involvement has added years to her life, and good ones, at that. Not every family can provide such a home for their senior loved one, but I believe that regardless of where Mom or Dad is living, be sure to provide socialization for them. It will lift their spirits to talk with others about “the good old days” or “the kids” (who are in their 70s) to find commonality, revive interest and nurture them. You may even see a change in their overall wellness, and a desire to live a fuller life.