There are support groups for many issues, but until I, myself, was in need, I never gave much thought to what they can provide. We have watched television and movies bring us into these groups, and they seem to have merit, but I have learned they can be a lifesaver, or at the very least, a way to begin to live a life.
Years ago, a friend told me that although she was diagnosed with a potentially deadly disease, she wasn’t someone who was going to get involved with meeting others like her or dwelling in the fear of her situation. At the time, although I wasn’t my healthiest, there was no support group or group of any type that would provide me an opportunity to know how others that may be like me, were coping. I craved meeting others with similar issues and understanding their coping skills. I wanted someone to tell me that they had been where I was, and it would be alright. When I had my ileostomy 6 years ago, I finally had an identity, and that brought with it the ability to attend Ostomy
Support Group meetings, which helped me heal, and begin my transition to a better life.
Read more ‘Slice of Life’ articles here: Slice of Life
What has become more apparent to me, since I am now a facilitator for three Ostomy Support Groups, is that not only do we meet “our people,” but we learn so much from anecdotal information, and that is an incredible asset. Regardless of the type of issue in which we are getting support, there is so much to learn, to share for the patient and family.
Particularly in medical or health-related situations, doctors and their staff can provide valuable direction based on their specific knowledge of the illness and the body. But living with any medical or health-related situation creates questions that may not necessarily even be known by the medical community. In fact, our groups have educated and informed the medical community in ways that are invaluable, and physicians have told me that what they have learned from speaking to us, has changed their entire perspective on the surgery they perform.
They have shared that they admire how resilient and informed we are about our bodies and our needs, which makes me so proud.
Support Groups often give an ear to the suffering of the family, those who love a patient, or one who is dealing with various challenges. Anything that interrupts the homeostasis of our lives can throw off a delicate balance, and who better to deal with putting things back on track than others who have walked in those same shoes. As I think about the past several months, I am assuming that the Covid-19 pandemic will give rise to a greater need for groups than ever. There are those who live in fear; those who have lost loved ones; those who have lost income, jobs, and their identity; those who have lived in solitude for so long, they have become unable to transition to finding their way back to their “normal” life; our children have suffered and feel isolated, and the list goes on and on. Support Groups may just become as commonplace for us as calling friends. In fact, they may provide an even stronger connection since kindred people speak a familiar language others cannot.
As much as we are all feeling similarly, we are also unique and complex. New members are frightened and worried, hesitant to walk through a new door, and are filled with misconceptions, and may feel powerless and “less than.” Letting someone know “it will be alright” because we have all been through it, is invaluable. And most importantly, in my groups, we welcome each new member with open arms and an open heart. I meet new members in the entrance wearing a flower on my dress, ostensibly so they can identify me. But it is for an even deeper reason I wear my flowers, and that is because for the decades I was battling my own situation, I received countless flowers, and they brightened my world…I want to do the same for others. That and a smile go a long way to helping new members relax and feel they have found their home.