By Ellyn Mantell
Even the sound of it is crazy! Wasn’t it only a few years ago that Bruce and I were talking with friends about preparing for our daughters, Allison and Emily, to look at colleges? Although he was a proud alumnus of Lehigh University in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, and I of Kean University (okay-I am so old-it was Newark State when I received my Master’s Degree) in Union, New Jersey, we wanted them to have many options. We hired a college counselor to educate us on placement for their individual needs and interests, and waited, like all other families, for the acceptance letters.
Yes, I am aware that our daughters are now parents. And, yes, I am reflective of the passage of time and that we are proud grandparents of four great young people. But I am having the most difficult time wrapping my head around the fact that this fall, three of them will be in college!
When Jake, our eldest, started his secondary education at the University of Florida in Gainesville, studying finance, it was a unique feeling. “Our grandson is beginning his life separate from his family,” I remember thinking…heady. Then when Maddie took her incredible talent and interest in fashion design to Marist College in Poughkeepsie, New York, last fall, I knew I would enjoy her love of fashion as much as she does. Now, Jessie is readying to attend Coastal Carolina University in Conway, South Carolina. She will work toward a BFA in Theater and her resume is already filled with her many accomplishments. We are close enough geographically to be able to attend performances and that is very exciting.
I would love to believe that our three in college will have the opportunities that higher education provided us or their parents. In reality, nobody is certain of that in our society as it stands right now. Young people are struggling to find jobs, places to live, and meet other young people. Society is polarized and angry. Work has become a four-letter word, and there is a belief that showing up for a job means a promotion is one’s due. We notice a lack of follow-through by many, and those who “show up” have a true advantage.
Reminding my grandchildren that they have a real opportunity to position themselves as “go-getters” by taking more responsibility, working harder, clocking in earlier or staying later, and following through on commitments has been part of my “talk” with them on graduation from high school. I am hoping it resonates with them throughout their education. Getting ahead in the world requires so much more than a diploma!
We have a few more years before our youngest, Max, is ready for high school graduation- a chance to catch our breath. By then, the older three should have more of an idea of their places in the world. We are as proud of them as we are of their parents. We are fortunate…they are good people, with or without college.