By: Rosie Battista
There is one conversation you never want to have with yourself.
To be blunt, it’s the one where you are lying there on your last day here on earth. The one where you say to yourself, “I wish I woulda…,” “if only I coulda…,” “or I know I shoulda…“
Maybe you’re not even waiting to have this conversation. Maybe you are already feeling regretful about the things in your past that you wish were different. You may already have swirling thoughts of what you would have done differently if only you could go back, or you may even be labeling much of your past life as a mistake.
If any parts of these sounds like you, it’s time to take a new refreshing look at things. You may have heard the famous quote by Wayne Dyer “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” This is powerfully true as perception is everything.
To prove this, you can conduct an experiment with yourself in a room. Stand on one corner of the room and look around at the objects in the room. Take notice of everything. Then move to the other side of the room. Position yourself in the opposite corner and look around the room at the same objects. Take notice of everything. Even though the room hasn’t changed, your perception of the things in the room appears different.
Life is no different than this room experiment. You can always take a different position and see things in a different way. In fact, there is never a situation with only one way to look at it. Even if and especially when it feels like there is no other way, there is always another way.
Let’s take the case of “middle age.” It comes upon you (if you are there, you know what I am talking about) quite by surprise. I hear many conversations with people “of a certain age,” saying things like, “I wanted to do that for my whole life BUT it’s too late for me now, my ship has sailed, maybe in another lifetime.” All the woulda, coulda, shouldas that make you sad, regretful and maybe even resentful. Judging your past is like cutting off your future using a faulty belief system that you built for yourself. You can change that. You hold the key to change, no matter what age or stage of life you are in. It is never too late, you’re never too old, and it’s never over.
Not to make light of the process of change, but it is similar to turning on the light switch in a dark room and just as simple. Looking at the past in a new light, creates infinite bright possibilities for the future.
Using these 4 questions and a short list, you can shine a little light and spark your last conversation with self to sound more like, “WOW, How I lived and loved!”
Answer with your heart and from a place of what really FEELS fun for you. Pretend when you answer that nothing could stand in your way, not money, not other people’s opinions, not your own beliefs about why you can’t.
- List 40 things that you always wanted to do throughout your life and never got to.
- List the thing(s) that you are really really good at doing, that people tell you that you are good at. This is the thing that you do so freely that you forget about everything when you do it. (and if you don’t do it, you have a longing to do it)
- Make a list of 10 people who you think have hurt you in the past and that you are willing to forgive.
- Make a list of 5 things you are grateful for (Oh and you can continue to do this one every single morning)
If this exercise sounds crazy, all the more reason for you to give it a try. Because living your best life, no matter what crazy stuff seems to be happening around you, is an art and a practice. I invite you to start practicing right this very moment. Enjoy!
Rosie Battista, Life & Business Enhancer Creator of Sleeping Naked After 40: Rosie helps people in midlife wake up, look at the past in a different light, creating bright possibilities for the future, no matter what your age or stage. Email rosie.battista@gmail.com to set up a Discovery Conversation to see what’s possible for you.