There are so many concerns about the health of our parents, and not the least is when to respond to their medical needs. Seniors tend to downplay their symptoms and concerns for fear of upsetting their family or losing control of their environment. But their advanced age frequently requires action sooner than at other times in their lives.
Our family has experienced this concern a few times since our Mom was moved to Chelsea, and we relied upon the guidance of the Nursing staff. But if your parent is at home, here are some thoughts to consider:
I believe you need to act quickly if your parent becomes suddenly forgetful or is hard to understand when speaking. These may be signs of a stroke. Additionally, changes in vision may indicate a hemorrhage behind the eye, which is analogous to a stroke.
If your parent is coughing and cannot catch her breath, is feverish, listless or lethargic, that can indicate pneumonia or other breathing issues. These can accelerate quickly, so action should be considered. The same can be said about the flu, which will weaken the aging body beyond recovery in some cases.
Abdominal issues can mean anything from anxiety, overeating or undernourishment due to memory loss or confusion, to serious bowel issues or masses. These need to be checked by a gastroenterologist to determine if they are severe. Please have a frank and considered conversation with the doctor regarding tests like colonoscopy, however, since some testing is either not possible, or too invasive. At any age, risk/reward is a factor, but as we age, the stakes are much higher.
Hearing issues are notorious for taking seniors away from groups of people. They simply cannot hear and often are too embarrassed to participate. Please be mindful that socialization is extremely important at any age, but particularly as we age. Camaraderie and socializing are some of the means of warding off depression.
Wound care is key when our parent has an injury. The job of the skin is to protect what is below it, and to prevent infection. Aging skin is fragile, there is pain, the skin does not heal and it doesn’t prevent infection, so the patient is at risk for a septic situation. The doctor may recommend a Wound Clinic, such as the one at Overlook Medical Center in the Medical Arts Building II in Summit. They are experts at debridement of the skin, which removes the dead skin in order to improve the healing potential of the remaining healthy tissue.
Lastly, dehydration or urinary tract infections may result in hospitalization. I want to warn you this is a difficulty for seniors for several reasons. They get very confused, and frequently develop “hospital psychosis” or lack the ability to “snap back” when they leave. They may remain confused and agitated for a long time. They may become combative in the hospital due to fear, loss of control, anger, pain, lack of sleep and on and on. You may have no choice but to admit your loved one, but be aware they may not adjust as they once were able to do.
I know this sounds daunting, and as my mother always told me “one mother can take care of 5 children, but 5 children cannot take care of one mother.” We feel such a responsibility for the parents who gave us life and our lives. Just remember to treat your parent with respect and engage with them and their medical caregivers, but if need be, make the decision that needs to be made. Loving our parents is often enough, unless they need additional care, and then, simply put, they need additional care!