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THE BERNARDS-RIDGE CONNECTION
DEC 2017/JAN 2018
MONTGOMERY ACADEMY “WHERE YOU CAN BE YOURSELF” Basking Ridge, NJ www.montgomeryacademyonline.org 908-766-0362 $ ! ! # " " ! ! A Real Friend By: Ellyn Mantell Walter Winchell was a television and radio personality whose news reports were listened to by American families from the 1930’s to the 1950’s. Eventually, he became a gossip columnist for a New York newspaper, and some say he ruined the careers of many with his loose and verbose tongue! In his day, there were few ways to get news and society had to rely upon the perception and views of those who kept Americans in the know; none could have imagined or predicted the overwhelming manner in which we are connected today to the entire world by simply turning on our phone or computer. We now have countless “journalists” who share their views with us...in fact we have a barrage of breaking news and staying current is a lost art. I grew up hearing Walter Winchell’s name as an authority on all things popular and he truly was a “household name!” Recently, I read a quote of his, and it has even more meaning to me at this time in my life than it might have had years ago. Mr. Winchell said that “a real friend is one who walks in the door when the rest of the world walks out.” Although I am blessed with many wonderfully lov- ing friends, I know that there are those not so fortunate, and they may long for someone upon whom they can depend when things get difficult. And when times are most challenging, well, those are the moments when a true friend declares their support, and means it! The rest of the world may not abandon us, but how comforting to have the warm blanket of friendship to keep away the winds of life’s difficult times! It is human nature that people go toward pleasure and attempt to avoid pain. And as such, life becomes our instructor. The formative childhood years, the angst of the teen years, even the early adult years are filled with so many choices in friends. The goals regarding relationships seem to revolve around how many can we meet and what do we have in common. But at a certain point, we better know our- selves; what qualities do we bring, and what do we need and want from others crystallizes in our minds. My friends are dear to me and enhance my life in the way that spices enhance our food. They provide the embroidery of my quilt of life, and without them, I know there would be an incredible void. They bring me the joy of celebrating, the beau- ty of the generations, the fight in the human spirit, the camaraderie of experienc- ing similar times of our lives. I am richer, by far, for these incredible relationships. Of this, I have no doubt! However, I ask myself if I am a real friend, and do I walk in the door when friends need me? In thinking about this question, I came to realize that the answer is an overwhelming...I very much WANT to, but may fail because I am simply human. I wonder if I have the ability to know what a friend needs unless they share it with me? I wonder if I become intrusive when asking friends personal questions or giv- ing “too much” advice? How friendly is too friendly, and when do we know we are overstepping our bounds? For those of us who savor the reward of truly con- necting with friends, there is a compelling need to respect where each of us ends and begins. Naturally, I do not know what experiences Mr. Winchell had in his personal life, and who he considered his true friends. Or for that matter, who considered him a true friend. Times were so different. The world was so much smaller because few traveled outside of their neighborhood, community, state or country. Those lives seem to be more predictable and they were more connected to each other geo- graphically. Perhaps that might have made it easier to walk in the door for a friend. But I believe we all need to know we matter to those we call “friends,” and that friendship is a gift we give each other...a most valuable one! In times when we are in need, our friends will hopefully draw ever closer to us, do their best to support us, hold our hands when necessary; in good times, they will share our joy, bring- ing us even more happiness...because like a lovely cloak, the fabric of our rela- tionships wraps us in texture and beauty, and means so much! # ! & % $" Hours: Mon.-Fri. 8am-7pm; Sat. 8am-5pm; Sun. 9am-3pm No Appointment Necessary 1503 Route 27 South Between Cozzens Lane and Bennetts Lane 1316 Route 22 East Located at Morgan Lane Radiator Check/ Antifreeze Replacement Complete Fluid Maintenance Tire Rotation Services Fuel System Cleaning Wiper Blades Cabin Air Filters AND MORE! Vehicle maintenance is an INVESTMENT not an expense. Let us take care of your vehicle so you can RIDE WITH CONFIDENCE. How COLD will this winter be? Is your vehicle ready? Family Owned & Operated For Over 24 Years $ 7OFF 15 % OFF OR Most vehicles. Redeemable at the Bridgewater or Franklin locations. Cannot be combined with any other offers. Expires 1/31/18. BC7 Jiffy Lube, the Jiffy Lube Design Mark and Signature Service are registered trademarks of Jiffy Lube International Inc. All rights reserved. www.theconnectionsnj.com