56 / 64
PAGE 56
Spotlight on
“SeniorS”
SENIOR
ASSISTANTS
Carol Cozewith (908) 313-6555
Ellyn Mantell (908) 883-0469
ellynmantell@aol.comCoordinatingYour
MOVE to Senior
Living with Ease
& Style
TRANSITION COORDINATORS
www.theconnectionsnj.com We live in a thriving area for senior living options, and as a baby boomer, I am taking full advantage for our mom! It seems that one of the most difficult things we do as we age, if we are fortunate enough to have our parents, is to deal with their needs in a loving and caring manner. How different it is from years gone by...elderly parents lived out their lives in homes with their children, feeling even older and unnecessary, until they were placed in the proverbial “nurs- ing” facility. Today’s aging feel young and vital, and may benefit from not much more than some guidance, assistance and a few great meals! What truly makes the difference, in my opinion, is that today’s living models provide the very most important aspect of “aging in place,” and that is camaraderie, socialization, and common- ality. How wonderful to know that mealtimes, activities, trips to local merchants or shopping within the facility all include being with a friend, a group or just seeing familiar faces. My sister-in-law, Mindy, lives in Basking Ridge, and Bruce and I live in Watchung. When we knew my mother-in-law, Eleanor, who is like a mom to me, as well, was ready to make the transition to a facility, we investigated the three that are pretty much a straight shoot between our homes. Sunrise in Basking Ridge, The Chelsea at Warren, and Brandywine Senior Living in Watchung, are all well-reputed, and any of the three would have been good choices. If you are in this situation, perhaps it will help if I tell you how we made our decision. First, know that any of the three are well-accredited and totally capa- ble of meeting the needs of so many seniors. So then what will help you make your decision? This is how we approached the situation. Anticipating Eleanor’s long-term needs, Bruce and I went by ourselves a while ago and visited all three facilities. All are very open to visitors, and with an appointment, will provide tours, share fees, etc. Knowing we were getting closer to the time to make the move, Mindy took Eleanor to visit the three, paying close attention to her reaction. They determined that The Chelsea felt best for our mom, so a deposit was given. The deposit was held for us to be used some time in the future, since she didn’t seem ready to make the move. However, shortly there- after, she had a fall and injured her leg quite badly. Suddenly, her inability to care for her injury, coupled with progressive memory loss, put her in a category of needing help, sooner, rather than in “the future.” Fortunately, The Chelsea had a deluxe studio available, and my design part- ner, Carol, and I ( SENIOR ASSISTANTS ) made the space come to life with Eleanor’s possessions. Mom is adjusting day by day, and seems to be thriving and flourishing. It is a beautiful thing to see a woman who had been independent and in charge of everything possible in her life, then with the aging process, begin to slide down the slippery slope of feeling lost and saddened by her lonely situation, become involved and enthused to live with a community of others who have welcomed her with truly open arms! The “buddy system” works! The “mealtime friends” works! The activities, trips and free time to share lives lived fully, well, that works, too. So far, so good, from our end! We are so appreciative to the people who have helped to make our little dream, that Eleanor will thrive, come true...to the staff and residents for their warmth and caring manner. And to all who go through “placing a parent” where we feel they should be, check out the vari- ables. Be open to the reality of your situation. Learn the difference between independent and assisted living options; check out the meal plans and how and where the food is prepared; is there adequate medical attention? At what point will a change be suggested/necessary, and how close does the staff keep family advised of progress or lack thereof. Aging isn’t for the faint of heart! It is one tough road to travel, and it comes at a time when there are fewer people to share the jour- ney, and many less emotional resources. But if possible, think of placement as a gift you give your parent...an opportunity to be with others, to share their life’s experiences, to continue to grow as a member of their own society! Please write to me if I/we can help pave the way! We can offer options that will free you to be present with your parent, as they so often were for you. ellynmantell@aol.com SENIOR CHOICES By: Ellyn Mantell www.theconnectionsnj.com