88 / 112
www.theconnectionsnj.com
PAGE 88
PUT YOUR SKIN IN THE RIGHT HANDS S E R V I C E S WE O F F E R Cosmetic Dermatology • Botox • Brown Spot Removal Chemical Peel • Dysport • Facials • Filler • Hair Loss Hyperhidrosis • Photo Rejuvenation • Laser Skin Treatment • Kybella Laser Hair Removal • Microdermabrasion • Micro-Needling (CIT) Restylane • Sclerotherapy • Ultherapy • General Dermatology Skin Cancer Prevention & Treatment • Cancer Screenings Mohs Surgery • AND MUCH MORE 240 East Grove Street • Westfield, NJ 07090 P: 908-232-6446 • F: 908-232-6447 www.SkinandLaserCenter.com Sabatino Ciatti, MD, FAAD, FACMS Specializing in Mohs Micrographic Surgery & Cosmetic DermatologySpecializing in Prosthodontics
Including Cosmetic, Restorative & Implant Dentistry
Crowns • Bridges • Dentures
Implants • Laminates
THE SIMPLE WAY TOA PERFECT SMILE
Replace Missing Teeth - BEAUTIFULLY
1966 Washington Valley Road, Martinsville
favs2010@gmail.comGeorge T. Favetta Jr., D.M.D.
Dr. Favetta’s Staff
NJ Specialty Permit No. 3543
Metal Free
Restorations
Bleaching
The dominant thread throughout my new book, The Train Keeps Leaving Without Me: A Practical Guide to Happiness, Freedom, and Self-Fulfillment is to take control over your life and be planful. Taking charge of your life will increase the chance for personal happiness. One aspect of doing so is to try to anticipate different scenarios in both your life as well as in specific situations so that you are prepared for anything. We call this “What if?” thinking. Examples of What if? thinking are as follows: What if…? … my company goes out of business? … it rains and I want to have an outdoor wedding? … my boyfriend cheats on me? … I can’t afford to pay my mortgage this month? The first important fact in these real life examples is that some are with- in your locus of control to do some- thing about and others are com- pletely out of your hands. There is little or nothing you can do to pre- vent What if? scenarios when you are totally at the mercy of fate. You can prepare for unpleasant out- comes but not prevent them. Your goal has to be to develop a plan that will hopefully minimize the negative effects should they occur. If you don’t, you can get bogged down by a great deal of anxiety due to obsessive-repetitive thoughts from an overflow of information, conflicting thoughts, and catastro- phizing. So, if your company is in danger of going out of business, instead of simply worrying about something completely out of your control, get your resume together, start networking, contact a head hunter, and peruse the job web- sites. Without a productive plan your anxiety becomes more of the problem than the actual situation because you will be spending your time ruminating, which interferes with your ability to enjoy your life in the moment. A football coach once said, “Be where your feet are on the field.” That suggests that you need to focus on the moment and be aware of where you are right now. So, make a plan to prepare for potentially unpleasant scenarios and then let them go to enjoy the pres- ent. Another adage, “Don’t argue with a fool” also comes to mind. Try not to allow the worries to re-enter your mind by catching yourself, see- ing a big red stop sign, and diverting your attention elsewhere. There are also benefits to What if? thinking. The benefit is that you can prevent potential problems by thinking through different scenar- ios. Tantamount to things like the Internet and fire, when used with balance, wisely, judiciously, and in a calculated controlled manner, they become beneficial tools instead of perilous ones. When you worry wisely and judiciously you are able to consider every angle and every factor to potentiate a positive out- come. In problem solving it can help you plug up holes in a plan to also potentiate success. But remember, whether your “What if?” is something that you can con- trol or not, you need to limit your thinking about it. Make a plan and implement it to deal with the con- trollable situations. Direct your attention elsewhere to stop think- ing and worrying about the situa- tions you have no control over. By doing so, you can facilitate your happiness and minimize a worry ridden life. Dr. Michael Osit is a Licensed Psychologist practicing in Warren, and author of The Train Keeps Leaving Without Me: A Practical Guide to Freedom, Self-Fulfillment, and Happiness (09/16) and Generation Text: Raising Well Adjusted Kids In An Age Of Instant Everything (07/08). “WHAT IF?” THINKING THE BENEFITS AND HAZARDS By: Dr. Michael Osit