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• Develop Communication and Conflict Resolution Skills • Explore New Ways of Being Together in Partnership • Rediscover & Renew Your Commitment to Each Other • Awaken to Joy & Aliveness in your Relationship • Groups for Men & Couples Susan & Bill Schoonover 908-755-3203 email: couplescounselingcenter@gmail.com website: couplescounseling-nj.com Watchung, NJ Thinking about h ow easy it can be to let our relationship fall to a low level of p riority, we would like to take time to explore this dilemna. When w e become too busy in our lives or when conflict and ill will appear to be too hard to deal with, it becomes very difficult to focu s on your relations h ip. Exhausti o n and a spiritual disconnect can sap our stre n gth leaving us with little energy to experience fun or physical i n timacy with our partner. We can suggest that taking tim e to relax and recla i m your sense of ca l mness as a way ba c k to consci o us c o nnection. We all have a place w ithin us that is the source of renewal a nd h e aling. Allowi n g your- selves just 1 5 or 20 minutes a day to vis i t that place o f calm and relaxed introspec- ti o n can be a m eans to maintaining a healthy an d vibrant relationship. Meditating, prayer or just quiet reflection are a f ew useful to o ls. When in a run down condition, o u r defenses c ome up and we m a y want to avoid our partner. We make it hard for them to tell us what is on their minds through our body language and our atti- tude. You may be familiar with t he “cold shoulder” position or the “deep sigh” or the “folded arms.” Not making eye con- tact indicates disinterest, not listening indicates indifference, neither of which is an invitation to closeness. We may encourage our partner to tell us what is happening and even ap p ear to be in t er- ested in what they have to s ay and then discount them by telling them they are exaggerating. Partners often use anger, aggression or silence as a c ts of intimida- tion to create a reluctance for the other to be honest and op e n. Building safety is much m ore rewarding in our efforts to stay connected and experience intimacy, More and more, the use of texting or emailing is beginning to m a ke contact with each other less personal. As we move further away from eye to eye, face to face communication, the mo r e diffi- cult it becom e s to feel deep connection . We have heard from couples that t h ey use email or texting even when they are in the same house. We have also wit- nessed the challenges c ouples have in just making eye contact. There are tools and skills for couples to learn in order to f e el more im p ortant and develop closer connection. A greater effort to “be” with each other is a beginning. In your relationship, choose to know: you are a light b e arer. You will bring light today to every dim appearance, you will shine a way t h e sha d ows, you will shine away all fears. Whether darkness is encoun- tered in y o ur own heart and mind o r in the realm of experience you will shine it away. Y ou ar e a light bearer sent to hel p brighten the world. Remember, you are not what has hap- pened to you. Everything that happens in our lives is an invitation to experience the opportunity t o grow. Remembering we are always given a chance to choose for- giveness and love. LIGHT BEARER By: Susan and Bill Schoonover SONG By: Robert Frey “Born in the light of an angel, I know that you are here with me. Here in the love and all is well. Our love is setting me free. Into my life comes your light Shining right through me. Share with me your angel sight. Through your eyes I will see. Just as we planned, you flew from God’s Hand Straight to our destiny. Angel in flight I feel you right Here inside of me. Death has no hold on the life of my soul. That’s what you have proved to me. Our kins h ip is old, timeless and bold Forever our family.” Choice Dermatology LLC 12 Ridge Street, Basking Ridge, NJ 07920 • (908) 766-SKIN (7546) www.ChoiceDermatology.com Choice Dermatology offers excellent care in medical, surgical and cosmetic dermatology. Our office focuses on quality treatment, timely service, and personalized one-on-one care with the dermatologist during the entire visit. • Diagnosis and treatment of disorders of the skin, hair and nails • Microscopic interpretation of skin biopsies • Laser removal of brown spots and leg veins • Surgical excision of benign and malignant skin lesions • Cosmetic services including BOTOX injection, dermal fillers for deep wrinkles, and chemical peels. • Laser hair removal New Patients Welcome Marc Meulener, MD, PhD Now Accepting AmeriHealth • BlueCross BlueShield • Aetna Oxford • UnitedHealthcare • Medicare CALL AND GET APPOINTMENTWITHIN 48 HOURS. Bring out the beauty in you this Summer! 10% Off Botox Additional $150 Off for same-day application of fillers