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SECOND CHANCES
By: Dr. Michael Osit
T
echnology has incorporated a
dimension to our lives that gives us
second chances. When a website
freezes or goes stale we simply press
the refresh button and we have a
fresh new, updated website to view.
Prior to posting on a social media site
we can edit video so that it presents
ourselves in the most positive light.
Pictures can be touched, cropped,
enhanced, and perfected so that we
can maximize our visual image. If we
post something regrettable on a
social media site such as Facebook or
Instagram we can immediately
remove it, hopefully, before anyone
else views it. Before anyone reads
them, documents can be effortlessly
edited and corrected for misspellings,
grammar, sentence structure, and
content. We send an email or text
and we can reread it or even sit on it
for a day or so before we are sure we
are expressing exactly what we want
to say. Video clips, pictures, social
media posts, documents, email, and
texting have become a significant
part of our social interactions. And all
of them enable us to put our best
foot forward, or give us a second
chance to make sure we are commu-
nicating exactly what we want to be
expressing.
Unfortunately, real life, face-to-face
interactions do not give us the sec-
ond chance that technology has
afforded us. Once we say something
it cannot be edited before the other
person hears it. How we are dressed,
how clean our hair is, a facial blem-
ish, and how young we look cannot
be changed once we are in a real life
social situation. We can’t simply push
a button to refresh a stale or stag-
nant relationship. Consequently, we
need to be extra careful and pensive
as we present ourselves in person.
The following are suggestions so that
you won’t need a second chance.
• Be contemplative and planful prior
to meeting with someone.
Whether it is a business client, a
friend, or your significant other,
thinking through how you are
going to interact with them prior
to seeing them will help you put
your best foot forward. Rehears-
ing and coaching yourself as to
what to say and what not to say
will decrease your chances of
“putting your foot in your
mouth,” and increase the poten-
tial of a positive interaction.
• As you converse, try to pause for
just that split second prior to
responding to them. When asked
a question that you don’t imme-
diately know the answer to, it is
perfectly fine to ask “Can I think
about that for a second?” It
shows that you take their ques-
tion seriously and that you are
careful and pensive.
• Try to be as planful as possible in
your life. Proper preparation and
planning in your work as well as in
your social interactions will
decrease the chances that you will
make a mistake. Of course, the
best laid plans don't always turn
out as expected. That is just the
way life goes sometimes.
• When you make a mistake on a
social media post, the faster you
remove it the less chance people
will see it. Removing it right away
is a good damage control strategy.
In real life, the same strategy
applies. When you make an error,
or hurt someone’s feelings, the
faster you address it the easier it
tends to be to repair the damage.
Living with yourself 24/7 you can
become immersed in a jaded view of
how your life is going. Just as you
can refresh your web page you can
refresh your life (sort of). Click on the
“objectivity” button, step outside of
yourself, and examine how you are
conducting your life. Make the
appropriate adjustments when you
get that fresh look at yourself.
Dr. Michael Osit is a Licensed Psycholo-
gist practicing in Warren, and author of
Generation Text: Raising Well Adjusted
Kids In An Age Of Instant Everything
(07/08) and
The Train Keeps Leaving
Without Me: A Guide to Freedom, Self
Fulfillment, and Happiness
(06/16)
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PAGE 42
Health and Wellness